A full heart

For You, O LORD, have made me glad by what You have done, I will sing for joy at the works of Your hands. Psalm 92:4

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with love for my Savior. He is so good to me. I am so undeserving, and yet He continues to pour out His blessing to me. It just amazes me...God obviously knows our deepest longings and our hearts desires and the fact that He would choose to bless me, just blows me away.

Before we found out we were expecting baby #4, I knew in my heart that I would love to have another baby. We just weren't planning on it because of our circumstances. Thankfully God is in control and He knew better then us at what was the best timing. I felt it was selfish to think this, but my heart longed for another daughter. I'm not sure why, I really was content with the 3 little ones we have. I LOVE having the daughter I do have, and my boys...what can I say, they are so dear to me. But yet my heart longed...

Yesterday I had my 28 week Ob appointment. He decided to do another ultrasound just to double check the gender of the baby. My Dr. wasn't able to completely see everything at the last ultrasound. Well, this time he said for 100% certainty that it is in fact a girl!

I would NOT have been sad if it had turned out to be a boy. In fact, before I had Anna I always thought that I would rather just have all boys. :) But, my heart felt completely full when the Dr said for sure that we have been blessed with another daughter. It is really hard to describe the emotions that I felt. Maybe it sounds funny, but I really feel as though this baby completes our family(at least for now ;) ). Each of our children are such a blessing and add a unique quality to our family. I am excited to see how this little girl will fit into all of that, and what God has in store for us as a family of 6!!!

Thank you God for making me a blessed woman. I stand in awe at your goodness. Thank you for continually teaching me about what it means to have joy. I praise you God for this gift of life that grows within me. Thank you that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. I pray that each of our little ones would come to love you and see their need for you. Help me to be the mother You want me to be. Thank you for filling me, for knowing my needs, and for even giving me the desires of my heart. I am so undeserving. Your grace and love overwhelm me. My heart sings for joy at the works of Your hands. My delight is in You oh Lord!

*The picture is a close up of the baby's face. It really isn't very clear. You can see her nose, her cheek and an eye. It was much clearer on the computer then what the Dr. printed up. We got to see the baby sucking her thumb and moving her lips and moving her hands and fingers. It was a really fun apt. The kids were all excited to see the baby.

Cowboys

There are lots of silly times at our house. I just love to capture them with my camera.

Good night, sleep tight, please stay in bed

This video is so funny! I can totally relate to it as we have a 6 year old who still gets up just about every night. I laughed so hard...I just had to share.

Happy Thanksgiving

I am in the midst of baking pies, and side dishes and turkey, but I wanted to take a second to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving! My dad flew in yesterday to spend a few days with us...yea!! :) So, we will be enjoying good food (made all by yours truly) and each others company, and some shopping tomorrow. I am excited about making the whole meal myself, I have never done it before.

I hope you all enjoy your day, and are able to take time to reflect on everything God has given us to be thankful for!

My delight and joy

Thank you Lord for these gifts that bring my heart so much joy....I am blessed indeed!

Refreshed

The other day was just a hard day. We all have days like that I'm sure. I'm still feeling emotional about some stuff, but it has been better. I was able to spend 1 hour and 20 minutes of uninterrupted time with the Lord, after I wrote that last post. That in and of itself is a miracle for having been in the middle of the day. James slept for 3+ hours and Anna and Ryan played quietly in their room so I could spend the time I needed with my Savior.

In my quite time I have been studying 1 Peter, and also reading through the Psalms. I prayed that the Lord would open my eyes during my reading, and help me to understand His word. This is part of Psalm 68 that I read during my quite time the other day.

3But let the righteous be glad; let them exult before God;
Yes, let them rejoice with gladness.

4Sing to God,sing praises to His name;
Lift up a song for Him who rides through the deserts,
Whose name is the LORD, and exult before Him.

5A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.

6God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

7O God, when You went forth before Your people,
When You marched through the wilderness, Selah.

8The earth quaked;
The heavens also dropped rain at the presence of God;
Sinai itself quaked at the presence of God, the God of Israel.

9You shed abroad a plentiful rain, O God;
You confirmed Your inheritance when it was parched.

18You have ascended on high, You have led captive Your captives;
You have received gifts among men,
Even among the rebellious also, that the LORD God may dwell there.

19Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears our burden,
The God who is our salvation. Selah.

20God is to us a God of deliverances;
And to GOD the Lord belong escapes from death....

32Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth,
Sing praises to the Lord, Selah.

33To Him who rides upon the highest heavens, which are from ancient times;
Behold, He speaks forth with His voice, a mighty voice.

34Ascribe strength to God;
His majesty is over Israel
And His strength is in the skies.

35O God, You are awesome from Your sanctuary
The God of Israel Himself gives strength and power to the people
Blessed be God!

I read all this and just sat in awe at the goodness of God. He reminded me of His character and His love for those who belong to Him. He DAILY bears my burdens. He provides rain when I am spiritually dry. He restores my soul and gives me strength. What an awesome God He is! He is my all in all, and my heart can rejoice because of that.

Thank you dear friends for your much needed prayers. I have been so blessed by your comments and e-mails. My heart overflows with how God uses His body to be an encouragement.

Emotional

Discouraged, weary, sad, overwhelmed... That would describe me right now. I have tried to write this post like 3 times now, only to delete it. I HATE, HATE admitting that I am feeling this way, and I'm sure a lot of it has to do with pregnancy hormones right now. To admit this makes me feel like a failure. Most of the time I am pretty open and don't have a hard time talking about anything. But, for today I am having a hard time admitting that emotionally things are not ok. I feel guilty saying that because I have NOTHING to complain about. I have a wonderful husband, 3 children I cherish, and VERY supportive friends...and yet I feel alone today.

Maybe one reason I am feeling sad and lonely is because I really feel like I need a mother figure. Sometimes it's just tough not really having someone I can call to give me advice. I have a mom, but she is far away, has health issues, and we don't have the best relationship...that is a long story. This is the world wide web and I don't want to say too much about that.

I just put my little ones down for a nap. I am headed to lay my heart before the Lord. He is the only one who can fill my empty, so empty void right now. He has promised all those who are weary that if we give Him our burdens He will give us rest. I need rest and perspective.


If you feel lead, please pray for me today.

Picture Me

I was tagged for this "Picture Me" meme, by Amy. I think this one is really fun. :) I am supposed to post a picture of myself and write about it. I am going to post 2 picture because they go together to complete the story.

This is one of my first memories I have as a child. This was taken the day my parents brought our baby brother, Matthew home from the hospital. I was 4 (I'm the one with the red shoes) and my sister Allison was 2. Our parents decided to present us with a gift that was from our brother. I remember walking into the play room and seeing 2 pink baby buggies. Oh how Allie and I loved those...we loved playing babies...and how fun to receive a gift from our new little brother. :) I love that my parents did this for us. It made Matthew's homecoming so special and memorable for us.

As little girls, my sister and I spent HOURS playing house and pretending to be moms. Like most little girls we dreamed of the day when we would one day have our own babies. Many years later, and God blessed us both with great husbands and the the privilege to be mothers. I so wish Allie and I lived closer so that we could share this experience together.

This second picture was taken a year ago when we all reunited for Matthew's wedding to his beautiful wife Dana. It had been about a year since we had all seen each other. What a sweet reunion it was. It was the first time meeting my sister's baby Gage...and her first time meeting James. I LOVE this picture, it just captures all the tenderness I feel about my family.


I am supposed to tag 3 people. I'll just tag whoever reads this and wants to participate. :)

Choosing joy

You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

I sat in the driveway, not ready to get out of the car. My eyes closed, spilling brimming tears down my face. So many emotions pulsing through my mind. A battle raged within, leaving me no choice but to fall at the Father's feet. My eyes had been opened to see, and now a choice must be made...a choice that my flesh wanted to give into...or the choice that would bring peace. I prayed silently for the strength to obey, and for once to be able to bite my tongue.

I don't know how many times a scene like this has played out before me. Whether it was feeling angry with my husband or with my children...or feeling hurt or frustrated or unappreciated. This particular instance I was upset with Bill, and it was nothing big. I was just frustrated with him for what I felt was his failure to meet my expectations. That morning I had been studying scripture and it had just hit me about the choice I have when in a situation. I can choose to give in to my (usually selfish) emotions, or I can choose to surrender to the Holy Spirit. I decided at that moment that I needed to surrender...to lay my anger and disappointment and the Lord's feet, and just let things go. I needed to choose to have joy. The next thing that happened was amazing...I felt such peace. And, when I talked to Bill we discovered that we had just miss-understood each other, and we both apologized.

I am learning more and more in my time in the Word that having joy is a choice. In order to have joy I have to make a choice, one of surrendering my emotions, what I think is right...taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ (2 Cor 10:5). I can choose to have the joy of the Lord fill me. To set my mind on things above. To choose to set aside selfish desires and serve my family with joy. It is also so easy for me to get caught up in serving that I forget to choose joy. I can fail to see what a pleasure it is to raise my little ones....what a delight it is to love my husband. God is so good to give me grace, and to faithfully remind me. Amidst the chaos I can, and HAVE to choose joy. And oh, the peace that follows!"

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Phil 4:8 My mind needs to dwell on truth! It is hard to choose joy if my mind is in the wrong place.

These are the thoughts that have been running through my mind:

Set your minds on things above. (Col 3:2)

Pick up your cross (Matthew 16:24)

Lay down your life for a friend. (John 15:13)

Sacrifice

love

obedience

joy

Peace (Isaiah 26:3)

Quite a list, I think! It can feel overwhelming at times....and impossible. I guess that's because, apart from Christ I can do nothing. (John 15:5) I cannot even say that "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit. (1 Cor. 12:3) To have joy is a choice...but I must take that one step further. In order for me to have joy, I must first of all choose death.

"The chance to die, to be crucified with Christ, was not a morbid thing, but the very gateway to life."--Elisabeth Elliot Wow...wrap your mind around that statement if you will...It seems so contrary to our natural thinking. The gateway to life is death.

John 12:24 says, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." There is no fruit, there is no life unless death occurs. "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." Gal 2:20 I need to realize my position. I died with Christ....but I have also been raised up with Him. I am a new creation. He empowers me with the ability to choose to do the right thing.

There are so many thoughts in my mind...and I don't know if they will make sense to anyone other then me. :) My desire is to live a life full of joy...I feel as though my heart has been opened to see what a wonderful process that is. I know it is not always an easy decision to make, but the peace that ensues is so rewarding.


So, tonight I am choosing the path of joy!

A good fall meal

I love it when the air is crisp, and it's cool enough to turn on my oven or to cook over the stove. I enjoy making soups this time of year. So, I thought I'd share a few of our favorite recipes.

Potato Chowder
4 C. peeled, diced potatoes (I just use 4 small to medium potatoes)
1/2 C. finely chopped onion
1 C. grated carrot
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 Tbs dried parsley flakes
4 chicken bouillon cubes
6 C. scalded milk
4 Tbs butter
1/2 C flour
Cooked bacon
cheddar cheese

In a large pot combine potatoes, onion, carrot, salt, pepper, parsley flakes, and bouillon cubes. Add enough water to just cover the vegetables; cook until vegetables are tender (about 15-20 minutes). Do not drain. Scald milk by heating until there is a film on top or until tiny bubbles form on the edge of the pan, Remove 1 1/2 cups milk and set aside. Add butter and flour to remaining hot milk. Add set aside milk to undrained vegetables then stir in thickened milk mixture. Stir until blended. Simmer for 15 minutes on low heat.

Garnish with cooked crumbled bacon and cheddar cheese.

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I also LOVE to make bread. If I had more hours in my day, I would do it by hand, however since the invention of the bread machine, I use that! :)

Whole Wheat Oatmeal Bread
1 1/4 C. water (70-80 degrees)
2 Tbs honey
2 Tbs butter, softened
1 1/4 tsp. salt
2 Tbs nonfat dry milk powder
1 3/4 C. whole wheat flour
1/3 C. quick-cooking oats
1 1/4 tsp. active dry yeast

In bread machine place all ingredients in order suggested by manufacture. Select basic bread setting. Back according to bread machine directions.
(yield 1 1/2 pound loaf)

After I remove the hot loaf from the pan, I rub butter on top, drizzle with honey and the sprinkle with oats.

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Anything apple is great right now. I love making applesauce, apple butter, baked apples, apple dumplings and apple pie. Since I can't (or won't)share my top secret pie recipe ;), I wanted to share my favorite Apple Dumpling recipe.

Apple Dumplings
(filling)
2 C. sugar
1 C. water
1/4 C. butter
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
6 apples

(pastry)
2 C. flour
1 tsp. baking powder
3/4 C. shortening
1/2 C. milk

Put sugar, water, butter and cinnamon in saucepan and bring to a boil. mix dry ingredients in a separate bowl and add shortening, cream well together and add milk. Divide dough into 12 balls, roll each on out big enough to cover each apple half.

Peel, core and cut apples in half. Put apples in the center of each piece of dough and fold edges together covering the apple. Place in a 9x13 baking dish and pour the sauce over the dumplings. Bake 35 minutes @375 degrees.

Happy cool weather cooking!