This is an article that I wrote for HopeChest magazine about 6 years ago. I thought it would be fun to share Bill and my story today. It is kind of long. Also, if you read to the end things didn't pan out exactly the way Bill and I planned. We did not end up going to the New Tribes Mission Institute...but I'll save that story for another day! I sat waiting in a room all alone. Nervousness started to set in. I looked at my watch, it would be time to leave soon, and my father would be coming for me. I stood up and looked into the mirror one last time; making sure that every piece of hair was in its place and every flower was arranged snugly in my bouquet. I took a deep breath. I couldn't believe that today was the day that I had dreamed about since the time I was a little girl. Thoughts flashed through my mind. It hardly seemed possible that God had brought us to this point in our lives.
Bill and I met in October 1998, but our story really begins several months before that, in June of 1998. That was the summer I went overseas to Papua New Guinea. I had no idea what God had in store to teach me that summer, but it was definitely not what I was expecting.
Up to that point in my life I had really struggled with being single. I had always desired to be married and have a family; but I wondered and began to doubt that that would ever happen. Instead of accepting that the Lord might have for me to be single I was very anxious about it.
I can't really explain what happened to me that summer, but all I know is that God changed my heart. I learned so much being overseas. We had Bible classes every day, and one of the things I was learning about was God's will. I knew for sure that God was calling me into missions-- to spread His Word to a dying World; but I had never really wanted to go to the field alone…single! As if that was some sort of curse. But…throughout those six weeks God began to speak ever so quietly to my heart.
"What if it's not my will for you to marry? Will you still serve me where I have called you." I wanted to argue and ask Him how I could go "alone". But then He reminded me that I would not really be alone…"aren't I enough for you, why do you need a husband?"
Over time I realized my foolishness. Christ was my sufficiency. I did not need any person to make me complete. I am complete in Christ. Singleness is not something to be held in contempt…it is a gift! J As soon as I could realize this I felt so at peace. It wasn't that my desire to be married was gone it was just that I had learned to accept what God had for me at the moment, and that was to be single.
I went back to school that fall with a whole new perspective. I was so much happier than I had ever been. I was content. And then…I met Bill. When I first met him I didn't really like him(that sounds awful, I didn't totally dislike him, I just never would have imagined us together). He had what I thought were strange ideas about the Bible and was shy and stayed pretty much to himself. The only reason we really talked was because I had my work detail (each student in the school is assigned a job, which helps to keep the school's costs low) across from his dorm room. Sometimes he would pop out and say hi to me, even though he didn't know my name. Finally one day we were properly introduced. We got to know each other a little more. We had some of the same friends so sometimes were involved in the same group activities. I thought Bill was one of the funniest guys I had met. I could tell that he was very sweet and compassionate. I wrote home to my sister and told her about him, saying that there was just something "different" about him. I just had a strange feeling about him. I had no idea what it was though, because I just thought of him like I did every other guy at school…a friend
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The more time I spent with Bill around my other friends, I realized that my first impressions of him were wrong. The more I got to know him the more I began to like him. My feelings began to deepen. I suddenly realized that I no longer viewed him as I did anyone else. I was so angry! I was angry at God. How could He do this to me? I didn't want this in my life. I didn't want to like a guy. I had that happen in the past and it only lead to nothing other than a broken heart. I poured out my concern to the Lord and asked Him to take away my feelings. It wasn't as if I had spent much if any time alone with Bill…why was I feeling this way. God whispered back to my cries, "Trust me." But I just couldn't do that. I had planned my future. I was going to graduate from New Tribes, and go on with the mission. I wasn't going to get involved with a man. (Sounds absurd…I know!) NOTHING could get in the way of "my" plans. The lord persisted to whisper, "Trust me." Even though I wold not listen.
Through my studies in school, God brought several passages to my mind. That began to bring me to my knee: Prov. 16:9 "The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." The one that hit me the hardest though was, James 4:14,15 "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that."
It was such a struggle to surrender but finally I said, "Whatever you want Lord." I saw the error in my way in how I was trying to do my own thing and not considering what the Lord wanted. I didn't really understand how Bill fit into any of this, but I knew that somehow he did. I also didn't totally understand my feelings for him but for the moment I accepted it. God laid it on my heart to pray for him. So I did.
Through the next couple of months, Bill and I became much better friends. Although we had nothing in common, except for our love for Christ, we found things to talk about. We did a lot of group things. On weekends I always arranged activities. Sometimes we would go to one of the parks in Jackson and play games or simply just sit around and discuss the Bible.
May rolled around and soon it was almost graduation day. Bill told me that he had decided that he wasn't going to stick around for my grad. He really wanted to get home. I was so disappointed. My friends tried to convince him to stay…after all we were friends; didn't he want to see me graduate? But, nothing could persuade him to stay. Although I was hurt I knew that it would be alright.
That last week of school Bill spent a lot of time talking to me. We didn't usually spend one on one time, but this week we did. I didn't know it at the time, but God had begun to work in Bill's heart about me. I already liked him as more than a friend, but was continually having to look to the Lord to make me content with just being Bill's friend. I didn't have any hope that it would ever be anything more.
Bill left for Wisconsin the day before graduation. We exchanged addresses and e-mail, promising to keep in touch. And then he was gone. I didn't know if I would ever see him again. I cried…and prayed. It was in God's hands now. I knew that it was too impossible for anything to happen now.
I moved back home to PA with my family. I didn't know what God wanted to do. I lived there for about a month, praying about what God would have me to do. Then the door opened up for me to go and work at a camp in Donnelly ID. Of all places! I accepted the job and flew out there to live for the summer.
I felt like I was all the way on the other side of the world. I was terribly lonely. I missed my friends in school, I missed my family…and I missed Bill. Bill and I kept in touch over e-mail just about daily at this point. I looked forward everyday to receiving his letters. Occasionally he would even call me and we would chat. Our friendship was growing. But, even though we had a lot of contact with each other, I didn't think that we would actually ever get to see each other again. But…sometimes God has a way of changing things.
On Wednesday July 21, 1999 I received this e-mail from Bill. I knew something was wrong when I started to read,
"Hey, Sorry I didn't write at all yesterday. I had a busy day… Anyway, this is not your basic everyday e-mail that I am writing. Of course, the thing that I am writing about is not your everyday event either. This is more of an informational letter than anything. And no I'm not sarcastic in any of this J I never wanted to write a letter like this, and I never thought I would be. But it hit pretty hard when I had to think about telling people.
This is extremely tough for me to talk about and I have been going through a lot the past couple of days. This may shock you (well actually I think it will. It shocked me J) I'm not going to beat around the bush or anything so here goes. I have cancer …I have to have surgery on Friday. Chemo therapy is not an option. This is the only sure method. Believe me, if there was an alternate way, I would do it. But I got 2 doctors opinions, each in separate buildings and separate cities and both said that same thing. They are good doctors too. Boy, when I heard that today I went into shock. Well actually when the Doctor was explaining that I had cancer I started going into shock. Then when he asked if I wanted him to call someone for me, that’s when it hit me. Total shock. I couldn't think at all. I just sat there for like 10 seconds just blank. I told him 'yeah, yeah I can call my mom. Hey is it alright that I call her?' I never did. He didn't either. I didn't want her to worry at work I guess. Anyway, I guess I'm in denial right now. But I'll tell you what, after the surgery it will be quite real to me.
They say that I caught it early enough that I don't have to worry about it spreading to my lymph nodes (that’s when you have to worry about dying). That’s what will occur if I leave it in there. Also they say that I will be fine as far as fertility and fathering children…
I guess my family is taking it alright. I really hope they aren't worrying too much about me. And you either. I'll be fine. Surgery and then it's done. Sure there is a possibility that it could spread, but highly unlikely. It's in the early stages…
Sorry to send you a letter like this, honestly. But I had to tell you sometime. I hope you don't get all worried and all or discouraged. I just hope I didn't ruin your day.
You're in my prayers,
Bill"
As soon as I read the words cancer my heart stopped and I began to cry. "God, please don't take my best friend away." I whispered. I was hysterical…in shock…I didn't know what to do. I called my dad that night and we prayed. He gave me permission to call Bill the next day.
After I talked to Bill the next day I felt a little better. I told him that I would be praying for him. He was glad to know that. Plans changed a little and Bill ended up going into surgery on Monday morning instead of Friday. I went to the Lord anxiously and prayed. Bill had promised that he would write when he was out of surgery. That evening I got his letter. The surgery had been successful. The Doctors thought that they had removed all of the cancer. I praised God.
While all of this was happening, God was doing a work in Bill's heart…totally unknown to me. A few days after the surgery, he called. He said that he had something he needed to get off his mind. He said that it was way overdue and that he should have said it a long time ago. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I kept listening. Bill went on to explain that he really enjoyed my friendship, but that he wanted to see it become something more than friendship. He wanted a deeper relationship. Basically what he was saying was that he wanted to see if we would be compatible for marriage.
After that things moved pretty fast. Bill talked to his parents and his parents talked to my dad. They decided that it would be alright for me to fly out there and visit with his family for a week. They also felt that it would be helpful in the healing process for Bill. It looked possible for a second surgery. Doctors were concerned that they needed to go in and look at his lymph nodes.
The week I spent with his family was really good. I fell in love with his family. They were so much fun. It was just a really good time of getting to know each other better. I went with Bill and his parents to the Doctor at the end of the week. The Doctor recommended that Bill not have another surgery. He said it didn't seem necessary to him. They just wanted to monitor him every month with blood work, and CAT scans every six months. That was good news. The bad news was that the Doctor didn't think that Bill should return to school that fall. Bill and I were both disappointed about that.
Over the next 3 months Bill and I continued to e-mail everyday and call each other every couple of days. We visited back and forth a few times. In November I flew out to be with his family for Thanksgiving. (I was living in MI at this point). 2 days after I go there, November 20th something unexpected happened.
We were in the living room that evening just talking when Bill excused himself to the restroom. I sat there for a long time. I was a little suspicious at what was taking so long but didn't really think anything of it. I could hear him walking around and then running water and then walking around again. Finally he came in back in the room. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him place something on the floor. He knelt down in front of where I was sitting.
"Can I wash your feet." I pulled of my socks and shoes. Bill quietly washed my feet in a small basin. I sat there in amazement.
"The reason I am washing your feet is to symbolize how Christ washed his disciples feet. In order to be a leader you have to be a servant. I want to be the leader in your life. I want to serve God with you the rest of my life. Elizabeth, I love you so much…so much that I would die for you. Will you marry me?"
"Yes!" I replied, as he placed a beautiful ring in my hand. I was happy but also in shock. I had no idea it was coming. He had talked to my dad and his parents already. Everyone knew but me! :)
Seven months later on June 3, 2000 we were married. What an exciting day that was. I could see God's hand on our marriage and see how much He had blessed us.
The past couple years of my life have been such a journey. God has brought me through a lot of different things. I loved being single and serving God, and now I love being married and serving God with my husband. In each phase of my life Christ has taught me the need to be content in whatever my situation. I had to learn to be content being single. And now I'm learning what it means to be content in marriage. God is awesome. It's neat to see how He guides our lives step but step. All I have to do is Trust Him.
I have so much to be thankful for. Bill's cancer to this day still remains to be gone. We praise God for that. We have a place to live; we have everything we need. I also have so much to look forward to. Our plans are to finish here at Bible school (This is Bill's last semester, because of the cancer he had to take a semester off.) and Move to WI in December where his family is. In May we are expecting our first child. In August we are praying to go to the Missions Institute in Jersey Shore PA. And then, God willing, we would like to go to Papua New Guinea and serve God there in a tribe. We are excited about what he has for us, knowing that He will be there every step of the way to guide us.
"And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:19)"Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." (Eph 3:20-21)
