The beginning
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Dreamy eyes sparkle. Smiles never end. Heart beats faster. Everything looks brighter. The room gets smaller and distractions fade away as he walks in the room. I remember as if it were yesterday. Cherished memories together when we were the only people that existed on earth. There is nothing so sweet as falling in love with the one that God has for you.
I remember the day he proposed. He caught me off guard, surprised me. His humble hands shook as he washed my feet and talked of his desire to lead and to serve me. My breath nearly stopped as my hand was drawn to his own. I felt like my heart would burst with happiness. I said yes, and dreamed of our future together.
I remember the way I felt the day I married Bill. Totally head over heals in love. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. He made me catch my breath every time he looked at me. He made me laugh like no one else could. He was the smartest, most handsome, funniest, most God loving man I knew. I KNEW in my heart that this was THE man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The man that God had planned for me and that I had dreamed of from the time I was a little girl. In that moment I loved him the most. I loved him as much as I thought possible. I had heard that love grows and deepens over time but did not understand how that could be possible.
The honeymoon came and went. The first year was tough...harder then I thought it would be. I knew it would be an adjustment, and that it was. But they were still sweet times. We had a lot of fun the first year. We learned alot and grew as a couple.
2 weeks before our 1 year anniversary our first baby was born; our daughter Annaliese. She was a sweet blessing, and we were so excited to welcome her to our family. This brought another form of adjustment. We argued some (like most couples I think), but also grew closer as a couple, as "baby makes 3" took on meaning to us.
As time went on life got busy. Another baby, job changes, school, moving, ministries, friendships... In the busyness of life I started to feel a small void. I couldn't put my finger on what could possibly be missing. I still loved Bill with all my heart. I got caught up in serving my family that I hardly noticed that our "once upon a time" love story faded somewhat in the background. I started to become discontent. The things that I once loved about my husband, and that made him so uniquely Bill, had now turned into annoyances. It wasn't as if things were really wrong in our marriage, I just found myself becoming complacent. We had lost some of that "spark".
It was at this point in my life that God led a sweet lady into my life. I had prayed for years that God would give me a mentor that I could go to for godly wisdom. In His perfect timing he provided the person I needed. A woman named Lucy. Lucy and I tried to meet every week for a time of prayer and study. She encouraged me to really begin praying for my husband and strongly recommended I read "The power of a praying wife". I am embarrassed to admit that one of the reasons this all appealed to me was because I saw some things in Bill that I wanted changed (nothing drastic). Can you imagine my surprise when the author of the book said that the change wasn't to start with my husband but in my own heart. Woah! Conviction hit like a rock!
I knelt before the Lord and wept as I read these words,
Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and
a renewed relationship with the man You've given me. Help me to see him with new
eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my
husband a new wife, and let it be me. ~Stormie Omartian
"Yes Lord change me" I whispered from the depths of my soul.
The layers of sin and hardness that had built up in my heart unknown to me, began to crumble right there on the floor. I had no idea of the transformation that was about to take place in our marriage...
4 comments:
What a neat challenge you found! It is so true that as woman we get so wrapped up in our homemaking & childrearing that we lose sight of who should have 1st place in our life after God. (We do the same thing with God, too.) We think that we have so much to do & so little time that we forget that we need to make time for our husband. I was always taught growing up that if your husband asks you to do something with him (like run to the store to get a part or whatever) drop everything & go if at all possible. Thanks for the great reminder. I'll be excited to see how God is working in your life. Thanks for sharing.
he washed your feet when he proposed?! i've heard of a lot of men doing this.... in fact, josh said he really wanted to do that for me, but he thought i would laugh. honestly, i would of.... totally giggled... ahh dear... to each his/her own.
your words are sweet. i hope you grow from this challenge you've set before yourself. have fun!
I read that book and it is good :) Thanks for sharing and being so honest!
I love that you are doing this and are going to continue posting about it. I just started the Power of a Praying Wife and I think it is going to be amazing.
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