Waiting

I have shared a few times that God is doing so much in my life and heart right now. I am humbled that He cares about me so much to teach me. The past few months He has been showing me once again how important His Word is, and how much I need it to survive. It has not been easy but I have been really making an effort to get up early to get into God's Word. I am treasuring my time with Him. His Word is so amazing and alive. It is like salve to my wounded soul...it brings me so much peace and joy. I find myself falling more in love with my savior...and my soul yearning to be with Him.

Yesterday was hard. I'm not really sure why....things just hit me. I spent the last 2 days crying and pouring my heart out before the Lord. In my time with Him, He gave me a few scriptures,

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Cor. 4:16-18

And,
"Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." Col. 3:1-3

My heart was so encouraged by this. I need to have the right perspective. I wrestled with God and cried to Him to please give me peace in my heart and repair the holes...and He has. I have so much peace right now I can't even describe it. He has calmed my fears about the unknown. I really don't know what God has in store for our family, but I trust in Him. I feel like I have strength that I know is only from Him. My spirit feels renewed.

I said the other day that I am not sure how much longer I can sit by and watch Bill take rejection after rejection. And while that is still the case...it still tugs at my heart, I know that God is using all of this for His glory and to shape us and teach us. I have been blessed with a wonderfully sweet humble husband...who comforts me with his words, when I should be the one doing the comforting.

Wednesday night, My friend Janel was so kind to watch Anna at VBS for me, and Bill's mom watched the boys, and I took Bill out for a date. We just grabbed .25 cent sodas from Wal-mart and went up on the bluff that over looks lake Michigan, to talk. It was good for us...what we needed. We talked about fun stuff and enjoyed each other. Then we talked about some heart issues. I am still sad for Bill and his struggle to find a job. He is such a godly man.. I just want so badly for God to make Him feel validated. Bill's hope is in Christ. He is content in Him...he told me so. He prayed a beautiful prayer last night with the kids and I. I know his heart and his desire to serve the Lord.

When the Lord asked us to stay out of missions...or at least closed that door...we thought that this was what we were supposed to do. Right now we are waiting, waiting, waiting. My heart sometimes hurts, and in moments of weakness I have fear. But then I look up and see that my God is in control and that He loves me so much. Right now I feel even more love for my God and my husband.

Thank you friends for your words of encouragement. Thank you for your prayers...it is so appreciated

I am keeping my eyes up. A new day will dawn and God will get all the glory. We give Him all our praise.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:26-31