Analogy of a moth

Most of our friends watch the show Lost. We have never had the opportunity to watch it. I always wanted to start but just didn't make the time. I feel a little left out because everyone talks about how good it is...so Bill and I decided to check out the first season on DVD. We have been watching an episode or 2 in the evenings when we get a chance.

Last night we watched the episode titled "The Moth". I'm sure to most of you out there this is old news, but I'm going to share it anyway. There is this scene between 2 guys...one is struggling with drug addiction. The other is trying to help him give up his addiction. He uses the analogy of a moth inside its cocoon. For one thing he says that moths are totally overlooked, most people think of butterflies. But actually moths are very beautiful also. He points to a cocoon and says something like, I could help it along...make the opening a little wider and the moth would be free to go. But if I did then it wouldn't be strong enough to survive. Struggle is natures way of strengthening it.

I was like WOW! There could definitely be some spiritual meaning in this. I loved the picture of the moth inside its little cocoon trying and struggling...probably never thinking about the end result, just wanting so badly to be out of there. It's like our trials...they are a struggle. Sometimes we work so hard to be free, when the whole time God is standing there saying, "Wait on me...be still...there is something to come." God gives us that struggle not to make us suffer but to make us into something beautiful. Trials work a rich purpose in our lives. They strengthen us...they make us lean on our Creator.

I can identify with the moth...maybe for the most part having been overlooked because of all the butterflies out there...but also coming to realize that God is refining me and making me more beautiful. It's a comforting thought.

I remember one time while I was in Bible school walking though a trial really struggling with what the Lord had put before me. In the midst of my trial I wanted out...it was too cramped and uncomfortable, I felt like I was being squeezed. Of course growing pains are always uncomfortable. I couldn't see the end result or even that there was a purpose in what I was going through. I prayed to the Lord to remove my burden...His answer was no...for a little while anyway. God's plans are so much greater and better than we can imagine. Something far more wonderful and beautiful turned out then what I could have ever imagined. Isn't that how it usually goes?

During that time The Lord gave me the words to a song that I then composed into music. Maybe in another post I will share that. It is very fitting with the whole moth analogy.

I am off to watch another episode of Lost with my hubby! :)

The Latest Drama!

Ok so remember this post from the other day? This is about the same car again!Bill was driving home from work yesterday and suddenly he said his car transformed into a Harley...well at least it sound like a Harley! When he pulled the driveway, I laughed and called out the window, "When did you get that obnoxious Vehicle?" The noise was pretty ridiculous. So we decided we needed to take it into our mechanic.

We dropped the car off last night.Kind of stinks for me...leaves me stranded without a car. Oh well, that's alright. It's so hard going anywhere with 3 kids it's just easier to stay home.

Anyway, Bill called the mechanic tonight to see if they had looked at the car yet. To make a long story short (and because I don't know car jargon) he did look at it, and it's going to cost a lot of money to fix it. I don't know I think there are 3 major things wrong with it. Yeah, he said we would be looking at close to $1,000 to fix it. Sooooo....tonight Bill is looking on Craigs List for another car. This is so not what we were expecting right now.

For a split second I was so close to giving into temptation and feeling discouraged. I had to laugh...then take a deep breath...God is in control!!! I don't know what is going on. I don't know why Bill hasn't been able to find a job. I don't know why expenses like this keep coming up...and our finances feel as though they are being striped away. (Oh, I never shared what happened to my car a few weeks ago...Got a flat right as I pulled up at playgroup...pretty embarrassing actually. The reason I got the flat was my stupidity. I got too close to the curb. It was a freak thing...but still the tire had to be replaced.) But what I do know is that God is in control.

In the past when things came up I had the tendency to really worry about it. And I also looked at others circumstances. I would be tempted to look at my brother and sister in Christ, and say, "God it's not fair...everything seems to be going good in their lives. What about me...how come you aren't doing cool things in my life? In fact everything seems to be opposite. Why are you providing for them in that way and not me?" I don't think I really prayed that, but trust me I thought it. It has been a long road to this point in my life...learning lessons, being humbled, seeing my selfishness and sin. Seeing the ugliness of being jealous of the things that others can afford (or not necessarily afford, just have) The Lord has been so faithful to teach me.

I can honestly say that I do not currently have wondering eyes. Meaning I am not comparing what the Lord is taking us though to how He deals with other others. Sometimes it may feel as though He provides more financially for others...but we always have what we need. I am so blessed. I feel so blessed spiritually...especially in times like these. I know God is constantly reminding me of His faithfulness.

Philippians 4:6
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I love this verse. I will have peace when I lay it all at his Feet. Which is what He wants me to do. Prayer is my expression of my dependence upon Him...and that is what I am doing.

Psalm 62:5-8
My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah.

It is only from the Lord that I have such peace. I am leaning hard on Him, because at this point that is all I can do. Our life is so uncertain right now.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.

I am encouraged as I look in the Word. Each trial that I face is divinely appointed for my growth. That's why James 1:2-4 says,

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Oh Lord, thank you for the different trials that you bring into my life. Help me to rest in you and lay my burdens at Your feet. Thank you that no experience in life is waisted, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. Let the eyes of my heart be open to see what it is you want to teach our family. I pray that you would use us to bring glory to Your name. Thank you Father that Your Word is living...and it brings hope and healing to my soul. I need you Lord! Help me to fill my heart and soul with Your precious Words. Thank you for the privilege it is to be refined by Your hand!


*I am a little hesitant to post this...finances are something I am a little uncomfortable sharing, especially on a blog. I am only trying to share what the Lord is teaching us. Please only see it as that.

I Need a Little Ryan Tonight

I feel like I've been blogging a lot about Anna and James. So tonight I thought I needed a little bit of Ryan.

Ryan is a sweetheart and definitely a mommas boy! He is my little snuggle bug. I thank God for my sweet little man.

Check out his cowboy boots. He wears those every day. You gotta love a boy who loves his boots!! :) You can't help but smile when you see him...or at least I can't!

Are You Listening?

Today Anna and I had a conversation over lunch. I'm not sure how it started. She started talking about babies and how they grow in a Mommies tummy and that the mommies tummy gets really big. Then she said,

"Babies grow in Mommies tummy like a flower. It's like God sprinkling water and sunshine on us, so we grow and grow and grow."

I thought they were beautiful words from my 6 year old! Of course after she said it I had to run to the computer and jot it down so I wouldn't forget it. Anna, observing what I was doing said, "Mom, why are you writing that down. You better not be putting it on that blog." I asked her why. She responded, "Cause then everyone will read it." Maybe she was afraid that what she said sounded silly. I know she is really sensitive about that. I told her that I loved what she said...I thought it was very sweet and that I wanted to remember it.

Anyway, all this got me thinking. How often do I actually listen to my kids when they talk? There is constant noise in our home. Someone is always talking non stop all day. I realized today that I might just tune a lot of it out. Sometimes all the chatter can be tiring...and I long for a little silence. But I just wonder, have I missed sweet moments such as this with my little ones because I am filtering out all the noise? Or do I have my head stuck in the clouds, thinking about my own stuff, not paying attention to what is going on around me and miss out on the tenderness of childhood?

So, I am challenging myself to pay more attention and really listen to all the chatter. I know sometimes that's hard to do, especially when I am trying to get a million things down at once. But, sometimes the things they say are so innocent and insightful... and who couldn't use a little more of that in their life? :) I don't want my kids to be grown and be looking back wishing I had paid more attention. I want to treasure this time with them.

Thank you God for my kids and for the reminder today to stop and listen. These years are so short. Help me not to get so caught up in trying to catch a moment of silence that I miss out on the innocence of my children. Help me to respond to their thoughts and questions. Please Lord give me wisdom! I pray Lord that I would have encouraging uplifting words for my family. Help me to be the mom you want me to be. I pray that my eyes would not be on myself and my desires, but on Yours.

Bill says, "Blog it!"

So I am!

Ok, for those of you who know what has been going on in the last 24 hours in our family I am just going to spell out all the details. For those of you who don't know, you're about to find out! :)

So yesterday was a pretty crazy day. I had so much to get done. Tuesdays are always like that for us. Anna has her Pom Pons class at the Y. It gets out at 5:05. I have to rush home and get supper on the table so we can be to Bible study by 7. Well, last night our Tuesday night groups were throwing a surprise shower for Jen and Andy. That meant we had to be at the Bretz's by 6:30. I was supposed to bring a snack to the shower. I didn't have anything, so after Anna's class I had to rush to Pick-n-Save (with all 3 kids) to pick up a brownie mix.

We got home around 5:30. I wasn't sure what to do for supper in such a short amount of time so I opted for Mac and Cheese (fyi: 1 box is not enough for me and the kids). Bill said that he would be home around 6:00. We needed to leave at 6:15. I knew we would be cutting it close but I had everything under control.

At 6:15 Bill was still not home I was getting worried. I decided to check my e-mail. To my surprise there was an e-mail from Bill. It read,

"can you come pick me up at school. I cant find my car"

Uhhh, is this a joke? Within a few minutes the phone rang. Mystery solved, it was Bill and he really couldn't find his car. He had checked several times where he had remembered parking it. He said he walked like 15 blocks. Anyway, he had called the towing company and they told him that they did not have his car. So, the only thing we could assume was that it had been stolen.

Bill's sister Tara kindly offered to go to Milwaukee and pick him up. When Tara got there, Bill decided to try the towing company one more time before calling the police. Turns out they did have his car at an impound...someone made a mistake the first time he called. If they had gotten it right the first time he would have been able to pick it up last night, but at this point they were closed. Arg!!!

Soooo...Bill and I took the kids to the impound at 7:30 this morning. We were there waiting for 3 HOURS!!!!! We weren't in the nicest area in Milwaukee either. And, we had to sit in the car waiting for the impound to get things straight. Needless to say the kids got a little restless. After 2 hours they told us that they couldn't get Bill's car to start. He asked if he could go back in the lot and try it himself (we had already paid the hefty fine, plus the extra $20 they tacked on because we didn't pick it up yesterday), they said no. So, we had to call a towing company to come and tow Bill's car out of the impound lot. That took another hour.

After they towed it out of the lot Bill got in the car and it started right away...whatever!

We just sat there and laughed. What in the world? What a crazy thing to have happen. The reason this all happened was because they said Bill parked in front of a driveway. He said he was sure he had not but...it really doesn't matter at this point.

So, Bill's old clunker is safe and sound in our driveway tonight. Praise God it wasn't stolen! Who would want it anyway? :)

Soooo...

$90 fee for impound lot
$20 for extra day at impound lot
$50 fine from Police
$30 to tow it out of impound lot
Knowing that God provides for our every need....priceless!!

We have come to the conclusion that the reason this happened was simply for God to once again prove to us His faithfulness. You see, about a week ago we received a check in the mail for almost the exact amount that we would need today! Isn't God awesome?! His ways of teaching our family never cease to amaze me. In the midst of Bill trying to find a job, and not finding anything, I am finding myself even more confident that God is going to take care of us. I am not discouraged, I press on knowing that I serve a mighty God. When I am tempted to loose sight of this God just does one more thing to prove His faithfulness. The past 24 hours just serve as yet another example of that.

Oh, and the fact that SO many of our friends called to check up on us after we did not make it to the baby shower last night...We are so blessed! I am so thankful for everything God has given to us! I feel very loved.


Just a side note: I didn't know what to do with the kids while we waited (it started raining while we were there...just to add to the drama of it all.) So, I put them in the trunk of the station wagon. They had a great time playing around. Of course James picked the moment I was on the cell phone to learn how to climb over the backseat. He fell over and into Anna's car seat. Meanwhile, Bill was just walking up to the car from being in the building, and Anna was yelling, "Mom you weren't watching him." (For everyone around to hear) He was fine...didn't even cry. Maybe you had to be there but it was pretty funny! Ahhh, someday we'll look back and say "good ole family memories!" :)

Dear Anna

Dear Anna,

I can't believe you are 6 years old today. It seems as if only yesterday I held you for the first time. I am sure I will say this every year for the rest of your life. But it is so true that you are growing up so fast. You are growing into such a beautiful little girl. You inspire and encourage me. Your faith amazes me. Your love of laughter is so contagious. You are a treasure! You have so many gifts and talents, most of which have not even been discovered. I love to watch you learn and grow. And although we have had our challenges I enjoy being your mom...I LOVE being your mom. I enjoy the fact that I get to be your teacher. I get to see first hand just how God created your mind and how it works. Just in case you ever wondered, you are so loved!

I never knew 6 years ago how much my life would change the day I met you.

My prayer for you sweet daughter, is that you grow in understanding of our Lord Jesus. You have such a sweet and sensitive spirit, I know that the Lord can use that if you choose to yield to Him. I pray that you will desire to hide God's Word in your heart. I pray that you will desire to follow the Lord and look to Him to guide you through your days. I pray that you will come to understand all you have because of Christ. He has given you everything you need to live a life of godliness.

Happy Birthday sweet Annaliese!


Oh God...I am so blessed! I pray that you would use my daughters life to bring glory to you. Help me to yield to you and walk in the spirit, so that I can guide her and give her wisdom from Your Word. Thank you Lord for lending her to Bill and I to take care of. We know that Anna's life belongs to you, help us to be good stewards of it. Thank you Father for blessing us with this gift of life.

Something Extraordinary

Today passed just like most of our other days do. I had the usual craziness with the kids. Bill went to school. We had dinner. We went over to a friends house. We came home and put the kids to bed. I folded laundry while I watched the series finale of Gilmore Girls. And, now I am here at the computer.

It doesn't feel like an unordinary day...except one thing makes today stand out from all the others. This day something took place that we can mark in the history of our family.... Bill took his last exam!!!

Do you get the meaning? BILL IS DONE WITH SCHOOL!!!!! I can't believe it didn't hit me earlier...actually I don't think it's really totally hit me yet. He is officially done! 4 years of school crammed into 3 crazy busy years. All his hard work...

I'm not quite ready to let out my breath.

It's been a long haul and I know that it might not be totally over yet. but, I just want to say how incredibly proud I am of my husband. He has worked so hard to go to school and provided for our family. I am such a blessed woman.

I know we don't know what is in our future and there is no job lined up yet...but I have hope. God is so faithful. He always, always provides! He has a plan for us. I am just thankful for the man I am married to, and that He trusts the Lord with our future. I know that he is looking to the Lord to guide us and give us wisdom. His hope is not in some job but in the Lord.

Bill, you are an amazing man and I will say it again, I am SOOO PROUD of you!!! Congratulations honey! You did it! I love you!

A sweet moment

Yesterday when we were in the car driving to the Y, I overheard a conversation between Anna and Ryan.

Anna--"Ryan do you love me?"

Ryan--"Yes I love you Anna."

Anna--"I know sometimes when you say you don't love me, you really do."

Ryan--"Yes I love you Anna, you're my best friend."

What more could a mommy ask then for her little ones to love each other? Amidst the fighting and bickering comes a moment like this that just makes my heart melt. Oh those tender moments...I treasure each of them.

Thank you Lord for my precious little ones. I pray that they will learn to love each other and realize how blessed they are to have one another. I pray that you would convict their little hearts when they are tempted to utter an unkind word, or to act unlovingly. I pray for their salvation at a young age, and that You would give them a desire to walk in your ways. Give me wisdom as a mommy and help me to guide them. Help me to always bring them back to Your Word. Thank You that Your Word is Living and Active. Thank You that you are faithful to Your promises, to provide wisdom when we ask for it.

Prifish Explained

The definition of Prifish-- the combination of the words pride and selfish.

My friend Becky and I invented the word back in Bible Collage. We decided to come up with a word that we could use to remind each other when we were being too focused on ourselves. It was to hold one another accountable. This was something I totally needed. And herein lays a secret about me. Nothing to shocking or deep, but something not too many people who know me know. I have only shared it with a few people. Not that I am afraid to, I guess it really doesn't come up much. I'm not sure why I am going to share it here and now...maybe to be an encouragement to others who might have had or still have some of the same struggles. It is part of my testimony, part of my past, part of some of the trials that God has used to shape me into the woman I am today. I only share this to bring glory to my Redeemer.

It goes back to when I was 15. We hit a rough patch in our family when I was a teenager. My parents had split up and I found myself really searching for something. I didn't feel very good about myself. I hated how I looked. In my opinion I was totally ugly. I spent way to much time thinking about it. I'm not really sure how it happened or when it started but I ended up in a downward spiral. To cope with things I stopped eating. I started loosing weight. People noticed and always mentioned how thin I was. I took that as a compliment I guess, when really it was just an observation by most. It became a habit...something I could control in what I felt was a crazy upside world to me.

I became anorexic!

I will spare you all the sickly details, but suffice it to say it was not a pleasant time in my life. It was the epitome of self absorption. It went on for several years until I hit rock bottom around age 17. (I was a believer, but was obviously struggling.) My sister found me passed out in the bathroom and called for help. It was at that moment that I realized that I needed to stop! I thought I had all this control over my life when in fact I had lost it. I really believe that the Lord saved me that day...not eternal salvation, but saved from self destruction.

The Lord brought into my life a godly woman who began to mentor me. She took me under her wings and gave me the encouragement that I so desperately needed. She did Bible studies with me, and showed me everything I was in Christ...my position in Him. This changed my life. Seeing myself not how I saw it, but as God saw...something beautiful! I was His creation His beloved daughter. I learned that my body was a temple indwelt by the Holy Spirit. I knew this but it hit me in a new light. My body was not my own...I was a bond-slave to Christ. My perspective began to change. I still struggled but I learned that I needed to take EVERY thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.

Fast forward a few years...I ended up at New Tribes right after High school. (How I ended up there is another long story for another time. :)) I made some incredibly amazing friends there. One in particular, Becky helped me to deal with my struggles. The Lord continued to break me and show me areas of sin, and how I could have victory. I don't think it had every really occured to me that me, being self conscious and seeing myself as worthless was a sin. In my opinion being humble meant that you thought lowly of your self (maybe not quite as drastic as I did but...). I was so far from the truth. Being humble is removing your self from the equation all together. It is dying to self and resting in your position in Christ.

Basically, I was standing there saying, God you made a mistake. I don't think you did a good job in your creation. Psalm 139:13-14 says,

For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.

According to this I am fearfully and Wonderful made. The God of the Universe does not make mistakes!

Becky and I would write notes to each other in class. (Some of which I still have, and I totally treasure them.) When one or the other was struggling with feeling worthless or ugly, we would write "Prifish", to bring perspective. It always seemed to help. Just that reminder that my self worth is not wrapped up in me...it is in Christ.

I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to go to a Bible school. Those 2 years were some of the hardest but most rewarding years. I cannot explain what a privilege it was to spend that time devoted to study...and under some very godly believers.

I could go on and on about things I learned (I am sure I will bring it up many times). I just wanted to explain the reason behind the title. When I am feeling bad about myself, I have to come back my position in Christ. In the end, what I look like really doesn't matter...it's what's in my heart.

Please don't misunderstand me. I think is perfectly ok to want to look good...as woman we all have the desire to be beautiful don't we? God created us that way, with those desires. But, if it becomes an obsession that's when a refocusing needs to be in order.

So tonight I am going to bed knowing and resting that His creations are beautiful (including me); I am His princess, and He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion.

P.S. Thanks for all the encouraging notes about my hair issues...I really needed it! :)

Mother's day

I am feeling like a very blessed mommy tonight. My kids were so sweet today. I posted over at our family blog yesterday that Anna was busy making me a mother's day gift. Well this morning Anna could hardly contain her excitement. She handed me a very cute homemade card. She had also wrapped up a painting she had made last year in 4-k and gave it to me. And here is the best part, the part that melted my heart...she had wrapped up about 10 pennies that she had taken out of here piggy bank. I am totally smiling right now thinking about it. I was so touched!!! It was such a sweet gift...so thoughtful. She wanted so badly to give me something special and she sure did. What a sweetheart...what more could I ask for.

Ryan gave me a potted flower that that did in Sunday school this morning. He was so proud of himself. His smile and his big brown eyes shone when he handed it to me. I am sooo sooo blessed.

James was his usual sweet funny self...gave me lots of mommy hugs.

My wonderful hubby surprised me with breakfast and roses. What a sweet man. I loved them!

And...I got to take a 2 1/2 nap!!!!! Oh how wonderful!

Thank you guys for giving me such a great day and making mommy feel like the most treasured mommy in the world! :)

Happy Mother's day everyone!

How important are rules anyway?

Ok so this is totally my sin nature. Today we were at the YMCA for the kids swimming lessons. James and I sit there on the side and watch Anna and Ryan. I would love to take James swimming while they take lessons but I need a new Swimsuit.

Anyway, in walks this young couple with a really sweet little baby. They take her in the pool and they look like they are having the best time. Mom and dad are laughing and playing with their daughter...it really was a cute picture. However, I could not get past the fact that they had their baby in a little floating device...and to top it off they were taking pictures. Ok, so you are probably wondering what in the world is wrong with me for being annoyed with all of this. Well...it's against the rules. The Y specifically says "No flotation devices." and "No taking pictures." Because the Y is considered to be like a private club.
I kept glancing at the life guard to see if he was going to do anything. He didn't, he just sat there. He probably thought I was just checking him out. Arg!

I told Bill about this when he got home from work. Of course being his laid back self, he was like, "So, what's the big deal?" He is so good for me. Always giving me good perspective and making me think. (God totally knew what He was doing when He picked Bill for me.) I don't know what the big deal was other than the fact that they were breaking the rules!! ha...Anna so takes after me. She has such a hard time when others don't do what she thinks they are supposed to do. Maybe it's a firstborn thing! Sadly she probably sees this trait in me.

I know it doesn't matter what other people do, and that I only need to worry about myself...but sometimes I struggle with that. I don't really like to admit that that is a struggle at all. I really for the most part don't judge others, at least I try not to. I have so many flaws and faults that I cannot point any fingers. So, I don't know why I sometimes get ruffled when something like this happens.

For many years of my Christian walk I struggled with legalistic thoughts. I KNEW I was right and any other believer that disagreed with me was wrong. WOW! So much pride in that. It really wasn't until I went to Bible collage right after high school that God began to change my heart. I wasn't relaying on a list of rules to get me to Heaven, but I did think it was important to try your best to be a good Christan...and that meant following a list of rules. I had faith that there was nothing I could do to save myself...but I guess I thought that growth must come out of my best efforts.

So you can imagine how wonderfully freeing it was to sit in Bible classes day after day and realize that I am dead to the law! The law was only there to point me to sin...not to say this is how you are supposed to live.

I want to share a quote that has been a tremendous blessing to me. It is from the book, "The complete Green Letters" by Miles Stanford. Awesome book by the way!

"Norman Douty writes, 'If I am to be like Him, than God in His grace must do it, and the sooner I come to recognize it the sooner I will be delivered from another form of bondage. Throw down every endeavor and say, I cannot do it, the more I try the farther I get from His likeness. What shall I do? Ah, the Holy Spirit says, you cannot do it; just withdraw; come out of it. You have been in the arena, you have been endeavoring, you are a failure, come out and sit down, and as you sit there behold Him, look at Him. Don't try and be like Him, just look at him. Just be occupied with Him. Forget about trying to be like Him. Instead of letting that fill your mind and heart, let Him fill it. Just behold Him, look upon Him through the Word. Come to the Word for one purpose and that is to meet the Lord. Not to get your mind crammed full of things about the sacred Word, but come to it to meet the Lord. Make it to be a medium, not of Biblical scholarship, but of fellowship with Christ. Behold the Lord.'"
Not at all about rules...but beholding the Lord and allowing Him to work in you. Being surrendered to him.

This experience was good for me today. It caused reflection. Thank you Lord for reminding me not to be so caught up about rules (although some amount of rule following is necessary). The point is my heart attitude.
I love how God can use normal every day stuff to teach me something!

I'm feeling prifish

*title to be explained in a later post!

Seriously, what is up with my hair? I don't remember it taking that long to grow back in after having my other babies. James is over a year now and my hair is so ridicules. I don't wear it pulled back too often because...well...I guess I am a little vain! :) I don't want people to gasp in horror! I think I must look like Einstein...or some other crazy professor! :)

I don't know if I prefer the little hairs that stick up all over, or the hair falling out stage...I guess if I have to pick, the little hairs are probably better then the bald spots that I acquired after James.

I have a funny story to share about the bald spots(which were not totally bald, just thinning in some places.). When James was like 4 months old I ran into a mom who's daughter went to 4-k with Anna. We chatted for a little bit about our kids mostly. All of the sudden she was like,
"Are you losing your hair?"

"ummm, yeah. did you notice?" I replied.

"Yeah I can see some of the bald spots. You might want to consider cutting your hair short or wearing it a different way." Was her response.

Ouch! I was totally floored. I didn't know what to say. I was already a little self conscious about loosing my hair, but after that I wanted to hide under a baseball cap! :) Some people just don't have tact I guess.

So now that my hair is growing back in and looking very funky I find myself reliving that moment. Wondering what people think of me. Pretty shallow I know...sad actually that I am devoting a whole post to my insecurity and vanity all in one. Ah, but wait there is more to come on the topic!

Below see picture of me. I took the time to point out some of the crazy spots. :) This is a terrible picture...me in the raw, no make-up, dark circles, and fuzzy hair.


To be continued...

What a ham little man

I can't believe how big James is getting. Time is going by way too fast!

Look at the hair! :)

Look at that sweet smile. He knows he's cute!

What a ham!

A new Arrival

Today we went to the hospital to visit our Friends Andy and Shauna who had baby #2. Hadley Sue was born on Friday....she is so sweet and tiny and beautiful. Ahhhh, makes me want another one, hehe! :)

Congratulations Andy and Shauna, and big sis Mianna! Welcome to the world little Hadley, it was so great to finally meet you.