A secret of the best variety

We have a secret. Any guesses?

I love having a secret...knowing something that no one else does, especially when it's the good kind of secret. :) It's a secret that can only be kept for so long before it becomes obvious. Was that a big enough hint? Actually, at this point it probably isn't much of a secret. I'm pretty sure most of you have heard either by us in person or by word of mouth. But we did keep it quiet for about 12 weeks. :)

The Lord has decided to add one more person to our family, set to arrive sometime in June 2010. Surprised? Well, so were we. :) I guess it's true what they say...you shouldn't get rid of all your baby things. Ha! When you least expect it God decides to do something big. While we were taken by surprise, God obviously wasn't. We are humbled at His gift and thankful that He is working out His plan in our lives. It's exciting because you just never know what He might decide to do. :)

Piggy tails

They might be short but you get the idea. :)

God's craftsmanship

The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
The skies display his craftsmanship.
Day after day they continue to speak;
night after night they make him known.

They speak without a sound or word;
their voice is never heard.
Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
and their words to all the world.

God has made a home in the heavens for the sun.
It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding.
It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.

The sun rises at one end of the heavens
and follows its course to the other end.
Nothing can hide from its heat.
Psalm 19:1-6

It feels so good

to have my old friend back! :)

After 3 months of not having my camera I finally got it fixed (for free I might add). I didn't realize how much I really missed it until it was back in my hands.

I'm feeling a little rusty...however, I think I'll find my grove again soon. I've been feeling more inspired these days. But It really doesn't have anything to do with my Camera. It's just good to have it back so I have an output for that inspiration. :)

Because every girl needs...

A pair of red shoes.

Only, maybe we should get a pair in her size

because she might just go walking off with mine!

Renewed

*If you are from my moms group back home this post has some of the stuff that I shared in my letter to you all. Just an FYI if you were wondering why it sounded familiar :)

Since being here I feel like I could fill chapters on what I am learning, and the funny things is it has nothing to do with our classes. Just lessons from our every day life, and not exactly what I expected to learn either.

Before we moved out here I was asked, "what is one thing you are looking forward to about missions training." I honestly had no answer, and admitted it. There was absolutely nothing I was looking forward to. I was not dragging my feet about coming here. I knew that this was what God wanted for our family. However that knowledge did not make leaving any easier. I had no desire to be here. I wanted to stay in our comfortable (in my opinion) little life and continue to raise our family in WI. Dealing with the major change that God was doing in our family was hard to adjust to.

I know I carried that attitude of not wanting to be here with me when we arrived. So at the first sign of struggle I wanted to run back home. What in the world was God thinking bringing us to the middle of nowhere? One thing that I was totally unprepared for was the amount of sickness that we would face in our family. I expected some amount of sickies but just not to that degree. For the first 6 weeks I think, it was a constant battle with one sickness after another. Right away when classes started we were also hit with tons of homework. So add being really sick to tons of homework, plus trying to make all our meals from scratch, dishes, laundry, Playing catch up to classes I missed due to sickness, Oh and not to mention feeling really homesick on top of it. You get the picture.

One evening when Bill was gone at his outreach I had a break down. The kids had been particularity naughty that night so I was very worn out The house was a mess and I had a high fever. I set to cleaning up the kitchen after the kids were in bed. I began to have a little chat with God. I told Him that I couldn't do this anymore. He was asking too much of me. I had nothing left to give. His response to me was gentle , as it often is. The verse "I lift up my eyes to the hills where does my help come from?" came to me. I immediately stopped what I was doing and went for my Bible. I looked up the verse and found the rest. "My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." I suddenly realized what the Lord was doing in and through all of this. He was stripping me. Stripping me of every comfort and my health. He intentions were loving. He was not trying to make my life miserable. He was reaching out to me so that I would stand before Him broken. I needed to see where my gaze should be. Not on temporary discomforts. Not on how much I missed my dishwasher and my friends back home, but on Him. I was right I couldn't possibly go on one more minute...because my eyes were not fixed on Him. He needed to be my strength because mine was all gone. I wept before the Lord that night. It was a real turning point for me. I knew in that moment that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. How could I possibly question what God was doing. He was reaching out to me to come to Him. What a truly amazing God we serve!

On thing I struggle with is finding time to be with the Lord. I know ironic, right? I'm in missionary training after all. Isn't being in God's Word what we do all the time here? Um, not exactly. It is my desire but I fail miserably. I have had to ask the Lord to help me with something as simple as spending time with Him. If I could encourage you all in one area it would be to not forget your first love. Don't forget the one who has called you as His own like I did (and still sometimes do). We are all busy moms, we are pulled in so many directions that we can't think straight. But I know when I do take the time to sit at His feet, to pour my heart out to Him I am refreshed, I am renewed. He is all I need. He reminds me daily of my need for Him, and I am thankful for it...even though it hurts at times.

I recently came across a quote from Sally Clarkson that really spoke to where I am at.

Did you know that the Greek word for “renew” means to make something new in the midst of other things? It doesn’t mean to start over, but to keep going, only with a newness of purpose. It means to add newness to what is already there.

I love that. I don't need to wallow in my mistakes. I don't have to start over. I just pick up where I left off with a renewed purpose. I love that God allows us to learn from our mistakes, from wrong attitudes and that no experience in life is wasted, because He is in the midst of it! I praise God for breathing joy into my heart.

"but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
Is 40:31

I pray friends that we can find renewed strength in every moment, especially when things get hard. That we can turn your eyes upward and see that He is there and He is working something beautiful in our lives.

Inside out

Do you ever feel like you are just an observer? That you are sitting on the inside while everyone else is outside? Life passes by and you just stand there watching. Sometimes there is just so much going on inside my mind that I find it difficult to open the door and step outside and participate. I have felt this way until recently. Just sort of going through the motions of daily life. I haven't been able to write because the words are just stuck. My camera broke and I have been without that for 3 months. I haven't felt like myself. Can't write, can't take pictures, not really sure how to express myself anymore. It isn't totally being busy that has caused my lack of blogging here. There is a deeper reason behind it. I do believe that "loosing myself" and staying quiet for awhile has been good. I have learned a lot. I think that God allowed my camera to break, that He caused my words to not come out. He has been working in a mighty way in our family.

Now is the time. I don't think I can remain quiet any longer. My words are returning. Although they may not be well written. I am stepping "outside" to share the good things the Lord is doing. So stay tuned! I'm back!!

A boy's dream

Before we moved out here we had 10 days of being "homeless". We had to be out of our house by the end of July, but we were weren't scheduled to move to Missouri until August 10th. The parent's of some friends of ours opened their home to us. They live out in the country on a farm. They have an apartment above their house that they let missionaries stay in. What a blessing for our family.

In the moments that were weren't busy getting ready to go we enjoyed the scenery at their place. The boys especially had fun watching the tractors working in the field. They also enjoyed the freedom they had to run wild for a change. :)

Time for a change

Before our big move here, two of my friends treated me to a hair salon so I could get a little bit of a new look. What a great gift! I had been wanting to get my hair cut for awhile but never got around to making myself an apt.

Here is the before shot.

In the process of getting the cut.

The end result.

It took me a few minutes to get used to my new look...but I absolutely LOVE it! It is so light and so freeing. I almost felt like a different person.

Thank you Janel and Pam for treating me and making me feel special!!

A night to remember

*Written about my last girls night out on August 5th. I am starting to realize that I may not get caught up on my blog as it is taking me too long. I may just have to skip to the present pretty soon here. : )

My friends arranged to have a fun girls night right before we were to move away. It was decided that we would go to the cheesecake factory (which is located at a mall) and then do a little shopping.

These are the beautiful woman who were able to come that night. There were 12 of us.

I was craving a salad....and salad I did get. This picture doesn't do it justice, Oh my word, it was the biggest salad I have ever seen. :)

After we finished eating it was pretty late and there was only about 10 minutes left to shop. So we had a mad dash out the door. Everyone scattered in smaller groups and went to their favorite places. Somehow we all managed to find one another again in the middle of this outdoor mall. The stores had closed but no one felt like ending the night just yet. Janel announced that we needed to make this a memorable night. She suggested that we go run through the water fountains. We all walked over there admiring the view at night. It really is a lovely place to go at night with the streets being all lit up and soft dancing music being played for the enjoyment of all

I didn't really think that anyone would ACTUALLY do it. But three of my friends (Janel, Jenny and Nicole) decided it really would be fun to run through the water.

Standing there watching them (and laughing) I thought, "I really wish I had enough guts to be that fun." Oh be careful what you wish...

I laughed so hard watching them that I nearly wet my pants! :) I asked them to get together so that I could take their picture. They had asked if I would like to join in the fun but I had declined using the excuse that I needed to take pictures.

Next Pam (my friend who takes amazing pictures) offered to take a picture of all 4 of us. She made me hand off my camera. They decided it would be nice to hug me, getting me all wet in the process.

I should have known it was coming, but the next thing I knew after a wet embrace was that I was being dragged into the fountain. :)

And before I know it I was running through too. Forgetting my age, forgetting that this was my last night out, just being caught up in the joy of being together and having fun like I was a child again.

I have not laughed so hard in so long. This picture truly captures the essence of the evening for me. It was definitely the BEST girls night we have had in a long time.

Thank you sweet friends for giving me the greatest gifts. The gift of laughter and the gift of your friendship. I treasure each and every one of you. Thank you for giving me a beautiful night that I will always remember!

Smile

*written about my last girls night out on August 5th 2009

late at night
all is quiet
we lay in bed
he leans over and whispers
"you looked beautiful tonight."
really?
"was it my outfit?"
"no"
"was it that I put on make up?"
"no...
it was your smile.
You looked happy tonight."
too many moments of late had been full of sadness
visions of what lay ahead
not many smiles to be found
but on this night
a night out
full of fun
full of life long memories
and lasting friendships
never to be forgotten

as we lay there in the dark
my smile widened
my heart brimmed
i saw it too
the beauty to be had
in a smile