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There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place,
will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face*

And He called her home, safely to His arms on February 13, 2010. She is free from the pain and suffering of this world. Her body has been made whole again. Our sorrows can be turned to joy because of this.

Mom, you were greatly loved and will be greatly missed.

*words from Jeremy camp's "there will be a day"

Granola Recipe

I have decided I want to start sharing more of my favorite recipes. I love trying new things and I thought I might share the love. :)

I have tired a lot of different granola recipes but I think this is by far the best one I've made. I have to give credit to Andrea. I found the recipe on her blog.

Mix together in a large bowl
4 cups rolled oats
1/2 cup rice flour
1/2 cup chopped nuts (I always use pecans but you can use whatever you like)
1/2 cup coconut
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon

In a medium size bowl, mix until smooth:
1/2 cup honey
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup oil
1 teaspoon vanilla

Pour the wet ingredients onto the dry and mix very thoroughly. Spread onto a big cookie sheet.

Bake at 315 degrees in increments of 10 minutes. Check every 10 minutes but Do NOT stir. If you make a double batch, switch your top and bottom baking sheets after each 10 minutes.

Bake until golden. Mine usually takes around 30 minutes (sometimes a little less). Let cool and then turn onto a sheet(s) of wax paper.

Enjoy!

The pain in beauty

When I went back east to visit with my family we decided to do some fun things. Since it was such a heavy thing that we were dealing with with our mom, we had to do something to lighten the situation. When we weren't with mom we spent time playing Wii games, talking and shopping. The last day I was there (Monday) we decided last minute to take the girls to the mall to get their ears pierced. Gavyn (my sister Allie's daughter) is only a few months younger then Claire.

The girls were both happy until the moment of truth.

The look of terror.

The look of sheer pain.

Claire admiring herself and her new "pretties".

Uncle Matt and Aunt Dana treated the girls to ice cream.

Ice cream makes everything better! :)

In the end it was worth it. And they both smiled again. It was a weekend worth remembering! :)

Until we meet again

I've been thinking a lot about life and death and what really matters...

The call I've been expecting came. My sister on the other line, "Elizabeth, I think it's time you come. She doesn't have much time left." I quickly got online and booked a ticket for a few days later. My mom who has had serious health issues for a long time is nearing the end of her time here on earth. Even though it's been a long process and a long time leading to this point, still nothing prepares your heart for that message. Nothing prepares your heart for having to say goodbye to one you love.

I flew out east last weekend (Jan. 29-Feb. 1) and took Claire with me. My mom has not even meet Claire yet.
My sister did her best to tell me how Mom would look and how things would be. I couldn't help but have knots in my stomach as I walked down the hall of the nursing home to see Mom. Not knowing how my heart would feel. Strangely, as I walked into the room all I felt was peace. A surreal peace. I know it came from God, otherwise I would have been a mess.

When I looked at Mom all I saw was the good things about her. The Lord reminded me of happier days. When it comes down to it, the hurts and misunderstandings from the past just don't matter. Not that they have in a long time. But in the face of eternity...most things just don't matter any more. I hear my mom's sweet voice and her contagious laugh and her love for reading, which led us on many adventures in my childhood. You can't see it on the outside but she is still there...the same woman who gave me life. I stood before a woman who was broken and sick but yet is standing on the brink of an eternal healing. My heart breaks but yet we know that there is something better in what is to come.

I saw my sister who has selflessly cared for my mother the past 2 years. Her love is amazing and inspires me to be a better person. I saw my brother who has become a strong godly leader and I am humbled. I learned many things about myself and the kind of woman God wants me to be. Good things come from ashes. The beauty of what really matters in the face of tragedy. I know I will be forever changed by this.

I am so thankful for the time I could spend with her and my sister and brother. Mom wasn't always awake when we were with her, but it was good to just be in her presence. She loved Claire and was so thrilled to see her. Claire brought much joy to my mother and in turn brought joy to me.

The tears of grief and sadness did not overwhelm until I realized that my goodbye would be my last. I wept when Bill picked me up at the airport. Still full of peace that God is in control, but heartbroken non the less. How do you say goodbye to one you love? It is impossible. So I won't. This life is just a moment. We are only passing through. Soon we shall meet again in glory. No more tears no more pain...God be praised!

I love you mom!

Until we meet again in His presence...

*Just want to say, thanks for those who have been praying for us. We have felt your prayers. This has been an extremely rough road, but God is good. They told us on Thursday that Mom had less then 24 hours left. Amazingly she is still with us. We don't know how much time she has here but we do know it is not long. It could just be a few more weeks, could even be a few months (although that looks doubtful). Our prayer is just for her comfort as she has been in so much pain, and also that the Lord would give her peace.

My boy and his cars

His current love. It entertains for hours on end! I love to watch him play.

Everyday miracles

*I often write posts that I never publish. They just sit in my draft box. Writing is a such a release to me, it is an expression of my heart. Sometimes the things that pour out of my heart are just too personal, or I just don't feel like being that vulnerable with the whole world.

I was talking to a friend recently who is going through a really hard time. Even though her situation is very different then any of my own hardships it brought me back to a time about a year ago when we were struggling. It's not something I really shared with anyone...nothing tragic...but it was hard and it was personal. It was something that God walked us through. And although I am not going to share the details (because they are not important anymore) I felt like it was a good time to share something God showed me during that struggle.

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3/02/09

Miracles.

I have been praying for a miracle. For God to rescue us out of our struggles. Sometimes the darkness has seemed so thick that it threatened to choke me. I cried out to God, and yet He has remained silent... I know He is there, but yet I have felt so alone. I have begged Him to take this away...and yet He remained from what I perceived, unmoving. It's not as if I expect to actually HEAR His voice...but there has been no peace in my heart. I had forgotten what His joy felt like. My soul yearned for Him.

I often think of what King David must have felt. He was pursued by evil men, hated by those around him, spoken badly of behind his back, and many other things. He cried out to God and was totally honest with how he was feeling. Sometimes he felt abandoned. David was bold enough to ask God to rescue him, to give him miracles. Sometimes God said no, or just remained silent.

Last night God reminded me of His everyday miracles that I am taking for granted. My God is bigger than I have given Him credit for.

As you persevere along the path I have prepared for you, depending on My strength to sustain you, expect to see miracles-and you will. Miracles are not always visible to the naked eye, but those who live by faith can see them clearly. Living by faith, rather then sight enables you to see My Glory ~Sara Young (Jesus Calling)

~the gift of laughter. Being able to laugh with the one I love over silly things and mistakes I make.

~watching my children grow right before your eyes. Being able to witness them learn and see their minds begin to blossom.

~The love we feel for one another.

~A roof over our heads.

~Food on the table.

~A heart full of joy and unexplained peace.

These are everyday miracles. The things that can be overlooked. Sometimes I forgot to look for the hand of God in the small things. I pray that He will open my eyes to see the daily miracles that are taking place. My desire is that God would come down take us out of our struggle, but I realize that I have a choice...a choice to surrender. A choice to see that maybe He has a purpose in all of this. A choice to realize that His plans are bigger then my own. A choice to say that even if He never rescues me out of present struggles I can still choose to have peace. I long to see His Glory. So I choose to see it in the everyday. And maybe just maybe the everyday miracles will lead to my "rescue" after all.

Oh the weather outside

We got hit with a storm and the sky dumped about 12 inches of beautiful snow to the ground.

(I put this in my draft box on January 8th when we were home in WI for Christmas break and forgot to post it...oops!)

31

I woke up on Friday to this card (and a lovely birthday sign). What a great way to start the day! Not sure if she is implying that I am getting old...but it's good to know I would be missed. :)

It's a...

baby!

No really, just watch the video and see for yourself what this tie breaker baby probably is. :)

After I turned the camera off he finished looking at everything he needed to see, then he went back to try and get a better view of what the gender is. On the second time looking he felt more sure that it was a girl.

I will be going back in soon for another ultrasound, so we will take another peek. But I feel pretty sure at this point that PINK is in the near future. :)

My tiny dancer

Signs of life

17 weeks
a small bump
can you see it
still in my regular clothes
but probably not for long

i felt it
the flutters like a butterfly
so faint and soft
but real

first signs
of growing life
of new reality
a miracle

A secret of the best variety

We have a secret. Any guesses?

I love having a secret...knowing something that no one else does, especially when it's the good kind of secret. :) It's a secret that can only be kept for so long before it becomes obvious. Was that a big enough hint? Actually, at this point it probably isn't much of a secret. I'm pretty sure most of you have heard either by us in person or by word of mouth. But we did keep it quiet for about 12 weeks. :)

The Lord has decided to add one more person to our family, set to arrive sometime in June 2010. Surprised? Well, so were we. :) I guess it's true what they say...you shouldn't get rid of all your baby things. Ha! When you least expect it God decides to do something big. While we were taken by surprise, God obviously wasn't. We are humbled at His gift and thankful that He is working out His plan in our lives. It's exciting because you just never know what He might decide to do. :)