Naming Rights

Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. Gen. 2:19

The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man." Gen 2:23

The kids and I have been reading through Genesis. The other day the details of the creation account just struck me in a different light. God gave naming rights to Adam, it says clearly in Gen, 2:19. God told Adam to name all the animals, and whatever name Adam gave them, that was what they were to be called. He was also given the right to name Eve. God very well could have done all that Himself, but instead He choose to let Adam be a part in this aspect of creation. Interesting...

Now that we know what we are having, the search for a name begins. I have been praying for this little one since we found out that she would be joining our family. We knew that this baby was a gift, a promise of the Lord's provision. I have been praying that the Lord would impress upon us what this baby's name should be. Something full of meaning, something that will show the goodness of God and His love for us during a trying time. I want, when people hear and know what the name means, that they will not be able to help thinking about the faithfulness of God. I feel like the name is like an offering. He is giving us this child, and I want to give her a name that will reflect Him and bring glory to Him.

Naming our children has always been special. Each of our children's names have meaning to us. They each fit their names perfectly. I think it hit me more as we were going though Genesis, what a gift the Lord has given us in allowing us to choose. Just as Adam was given naming rights, the same is true of our children. A name is something that is so important and special, and we have been blessed with the privilege. Maybe it sounds silly, but I was just so struck by what a beautiful thing that is that God allows us to participate in. Not only do I get to participate in the miracle of a growing baby inside me, but we have the honor of naming something that rightfully belongs to God. Wow! Thinking of it that way, just makes it seem so sacred.

I don't feel stressed or pressured to find the perfect name because I know that God already knows what it is. This baby's days have been recorded even before she came to be. I know that in His timing He will make it clear to us. While we are given the right and the privilege to call our baby what we want, we are looking to Him for wisdom. I am so excited about it! Isn't it so amazing to just sit back and watch God reveal His plan? He just amazes me!

By the way, the picture taken of me above, was taken by Anna. We did some photography for art class today. She wanted to take pictures of me and the baby. I think they turned out pretty good. I am not all that fond of my picture being taken, but it was a fun project for us. I was going to post all the pictures that we worked on today, but I felt kind of funny about it. If you really want to see them, you can go here to the baby's blog.

A Fall Day

Before the weather decided to be more like summer, we did have a day that gave us a taste of fall to come. Anna, Ryan and I enjoyed some time in the backyard jumping in leaves, while James napped. It's moments like this that make the hard days so worth it!

A baby blog

I decided to start a blog to journal about my pregnancy. It is mostly for my pleasure, but I thought I'd share it. If you want to read it, it is here Mommy Diaries. I am still writing on this blog for everything. I just wanted a place to write about the details of my pregnancy. Besides, I love doing blog design, and this gives me an excuse to use my creativity to design a new blog! :)

Pink or blue?

I had my 20 week ultrasound this morning. The Dr. said everything looked good. Baby is healthy and everything is right on schedule for my due date (feb. 21). We decided that we wanted to find out the gender of the baby today, if possible. He said he is 95% sure that it's a...GIRL! He is going to check again in 4 weeks to make sure. But, he really felt that is is most likely a girl. I am a little hesitant to count on his 95%...but I feel in my gut that it probably is.

Here are a few ultrasound pictures. The first one is of the face and hand. It's not real clear. The second is the 3D, which is a little freaky if you ask me :). The Dr. said it is a little blurry because baby was moving her (should I say her?) head.

Thank you Lord for this sweet little miracle. We praise you that she is fearfully and wonderfully made! Thank you for this blessing!

Gazing upward

Turn your gaze
To Heaven and raise
A joyous noise
Oh the sound of salvation come
The sound of rescued ones
And all this for a king
Angels join to sing
'All for Christ our King!'

Ohh praise Him!
Ohh praise Him!
He is Holy!
He is Holy!
(O Praise Him-All this for a King)

He whispered to my soul:

Let your gaze shift upward, as you fix your eyes on the author and perfecter of your faith. keep running the race with endurance; and when you become weary do not give up...lean on the One who has given you everything you need to live a life of godliness. Let the background fade as seek to praise Him. What an awesome mighty King you serve!

Thank you Lord for the beauty captured, and the sweet reminder to keep my eyes on you!

A little bit of life

I am so excited! on Wednesday my new washing machine should be arriving. The past 2 weeks have been crazy. My car and my washer died both on the same day. Then the following day Bill's car died. Yeah, that's a lot of big stuff to go at once, but what are you going to do? :)

Bill's car was fixed after 3 days, but in the meantime we had help from family and friends. It is such a weird feeling to be stuck at home with absolutely no way to get anywhere. God has always, always been so good to us. He has always provided just what we need when we need it. It is so humbling to see how God has worked in our lives. I can't tell you the number of times Bill and I have received unexpected money just when we weren't sure what we were going to do. I feel so unworthy of how blessed we are.

Bill's mom has been such a blessing to me especially lately. She has been doing our laundry for the past two weeks. And let me say, our family generates a lot of laundry! She has insisted on folding everything too, so all I have had to do is put it away. She has no idea how much of a help she has been to me. Laundry is often a struggle, so to have someone helping me with it has been awesome. I didn't ask for the help, but what a blessing!

Hopefully within the next week I will have my car fixed. It really hasn't been that bad going without it. I don't do much running during the day when I do have a working car. (Although I wouldn't mind having it back so that I can go to moms group again. I desperately need the fellowship with other woman.) I keep so busy at home without the running. I haven't had the chance to get on here and write, just from lack of time. Well, and also from being tired maybe. And I feel like I have pregnancy brain. I want to write....really write, but my brain has not been working right. Hopefully soon?! :)

So this is pretty random, but it's life around here these days. It's never boring...although this post may be. :)

Getting Dirty

This past weekend Anna went over to Bill's parents house for the afternoon. Ryan was a little sad at first at having to stay home. But, I made it worth his while to be home! We watched a movie, had a snack, and made brownies together.

I realized something as Ryan and I were having fun in the kitchen, I don't like my kids getting dirty. It really sounds silly writing it out on here. Usually I have them help me as carefully and mess free as possible. But it struck me that maybe I need to relax a little. I let Ryan have fun...and fun he did have! He was one happy little boy...and I was one happy mama! It gave me such joy to allow him to be a boy and make a mess. Good thing it was bath night though, he got stuff everywhere, under his neck and in his hair. :)

Lord, please help me to relax and allow my kids to be kids; to make a mess when it is appropriate. Help me to take joy in being the mommy. Thank you for the time alone with Ryan the other day and for opening my eyes to an area that I need to grow in. Thank you for blessing me with each one of my children, they are true gifts from you.

My messy kitchen

During or after every meal this is what happens. I have to clean up the huge mess James makes. Problem is it's not just normal mess that kids make...if I turn my back for a second the whole plate is on the floor. Is it just my baby or do other moms have this problem? It is very frustrating, and a habit I want broken soon!! This is something we are working on! :)

4:45 a.m. wake up call

WHAT I HEARD:
"Bill what was that?" I gasped out, in a half awake voice.

Bill jumped up. "I don't know." He ran over to our bedroom window to investigate.

it was a startling noise that woke us both up this morning. It sounded like some big animal was either in our room, or right above us.

Next thing I hear is Bill yelling out the window, "Hey, what are you doing?" And then I hear him blowing. After that, Bill crawls back into bed....

WHAT BILL HEARD AND SAW: (in his words)
I woke up to a scratching sound in the wall and Liz gasping.

I knew it was a large creature and thought raccoon or possum.

it sounded close....like right outside our window.

we have our window open at night and so I go to the open window. I could see fur on the side right next to the window. Whatever it was was trying to climb the house via the wood siding.

So I say "hey, what are you doing?" a raccoon face pokes around to the window. I blow in its face like 3 times, then he dropped to the ground (big thud)....

CONCLUSION:
We both went right back to sleep after that. We were too tired to think about it. But now, I can't can't stop laughing. What a weird wake up call!!

Heart Lessons Part 2

Part 1 is here.

MOTHERING AND MINISTRY: my divided heart

There has been a battle going on inside my heart all summer. Aside from what our circumstances were and the uncertainty of everything, there was a war going on inside my mind. I made a huge decision at the beginning of the summer. Something I knew the Lord was asking me to do. I referenced to this process as "Labor Pains" in June, but did not explain entirely what I was talking about. I knew that obedience was required of me, but I didn't know how hard it was going to be to let go and follow God's leading.

For the past three years I have been involved in a ministry to moms at our church; Time Out For Moms (TOFM) The first year I helped lead the small group of moms with another lady from our church. When she moved away to Chicago at the end of the year, God laid it on my heart to take over. My friend Janel decided to co. lead it with me. We had so much fun leading it together. We picked and planned what we were going to study, and also planned activities for us to do as a group. While I am not a born leader, I enjoyed studying for and teaching each lesson. There have definitely been trials, and struggles along the way. And Janel and I at times felt the attacks of the enemy. But neither one of us would trade any of it.

This summer as Janel and I began to prepare a study for this fall, things took an unexpected turn. God began to quietly speak to my heart concerning my family. I can't really explain it, but God made it clear to me that he was calling me to do something.

I want to share a quote from an article by Greg Harris that really spoke to me. He said concerning his kids,

C.S. LEWIS ONCE OBSERVED that God is not so much offended that we want too much as by the fact that we are satisfied with so little. Though He offers us the highest of adventures in our Christian life, we settle for the stale mediocrity of our lukewarm religious routines. The parental counterpart to this idea is that most mothers and fathers actually want too little for their children - they settle for success in this world's terms. But God would have us aim higher, not like an ambitious stage mother pushing her mildly talented children into the spotlight, but like a fine jeweler making the best possible use of each bit of gold, silver, and precious stone he has. My children are priceless treasures, and I want God's highest and best for them.

Putting things into that perspective really made me think. What is my desire for my children's lives? I certainly don't want to settle for anything less than what God desires for them.

This summer the Lord asked me to lay aside my ministry to the moms group. This was not a decision that came easily. I spent so much time praying about it and just trying to saturate my life with God's Word. It broke my heart to have to leave this ministry. At first when I came to the realization that God was asking me to quit, I really wondered, "God you can't be asking this of me? This is where my heart is. I love all of these women. My heart is to see them grow in the Lord." I was and still am sad at leaving because I see our young moms at a crucial point right now…ready for so much growth. It is right at the point where my heart has been longing for it to be, and now the Lord is asking me to step aside. While it has been a privilege to serve the Lord this way, He has made it clear that my time in this role is done; and that my main ministry and focus needs to be to my family. Bill and I have felt led to home school right now (we don't know for how long, just taking one year at a time). I cannot do that as effectively when my attention is divided.

When I informed Bill of the decision I had made and how God was leading me, his response confirmed what I already knew. He said that He had been praying for me for awhile that the Lord would lead me in the right direction. He really felt that my time as a leader had come to an end but didn't want to tell me that and influence my decision. Also, shortly after Bill and I talked, Janel called to say that she was feeling like God was calling her to leave TOFM. We both came to the same conclusion without ever having talked about it together.

I know that there may be those that won't understand my reasons. I prayed that there would be no hurt feelings. (I am pretty sure there weren't any...the Lord provided someone to take our place in this ministry.) But I am convinced that I am doing what God wants me to do…and I know that there is peace and reward in obedience. In my quiet time I had been reading the book of Isaiah. I came across a verse I had never though much about. Isaiah 2:22 "Stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; For why should he be esteemed?" It just struck me that I can not worry about man's opinion of me…and not to sound harsh, but I have to be more concerned about God's opinion of me and be obedient to that.

Leading TOFM has been one of the hardest but yet one of the most wonderful experiences. I learned so much during my time as a leader. I am very thankful for even the trials and the refining that took place in my life because of it. I am so thankful for all the moms and the wonderful friendships that I have seen blossom. I am thankful just for the opportunity to be able to teach what the Lord has laid on my heart; which at times was humbling.

I never knew what a struggle it was going to be to surrender to the path God has asked me to walk right now. I have peace about it, but yet full of sadness at having to leave something my heart was so tied to. (I will expound more on that later). This school year is going much better however with me being able to focus entirely on that. Oh, and I had no idea when God asked me to step out of TOFM (not step out entirely, I am still going to go, just not lead it.) that He was going to be giving us a baby in Feb. So...I know for sure that I am doing what He wants... and there is joy in that!

Thank you Lord for guiding me. Thank you for the opportunities you have given me in ministry. I pray that I would be a diligent worker in the task you have set before me...the ministry of motherhood. Thank you for filling my heart with peace and that the "labor pains" have subsided.

Looking like a big boy

My friend Lucy came over this morning to visit. It was a much needed visit on my part. We have both been so busy this summer and haven't had much time to get together and pray like we normally do. I felt so refreshed and encouraged when she left. I am so thankful for her friendship. She blesses me more then she will ever know. Thank you God for blessing me with Lucy's friendship, she is a rare and beautiful treasure!

While she was here she helped me give James his first haircut. Actually, she cut and I held and tried to comfort a screaming James. I can't believe I made the decision to do it but...we cut all the curls off. Oh my word! He looks so big now. I don't know if my heart can take it! :) He looks cute, but I was very tempted to cry...I restrained myself. His hair is still wavy so I am hoping that maybe the curls will come back again. I am so glad that Lucy helped me. I could have never done it by myself.

I had to take tons of pictures of his new look!

Ice cream will do

I am eating a bowl of ice cream that Bill ran out at 9:30 last night to get for me. It was a must need...and not must need because I am pregnant...it was a must need because it was a horrible day.

I debated on whether or not to write this. I don't like to be negative. But, let's face it, it's real life. Yesterday I had one of the worst days I have had in a long time. EVERYTHING went wrong. We started school 1 1/2 hours later then we normally do because one of my children's behavior could not be ignored and had to be dealt with. I don't know what is going on but Ryan had decided that he wasn't going to listen to anything I said. While I was dealing with him, James got into one thing after another. It's almost comical. I set my coffee down to deal with Ryan, James grabbed it and spilled it everywhere...all over one of our new text books (call me a freak, but I love new books. I hate to see them ruined.) I set the coffee up high and grabbed the hairdryer to dry the pages before they stuck to each other. While I was doing that, James climbed up to the top (in the middle) of the table and grabbed my coffee. I ran out to clean up that mess, forgetting to close the bathroom door behind me. Before I could catch him, James was playing in the toilet bowl...GROSS!!!

Oh, and then at lunch I opened the silverware drawer only to discover that a mouse had decided to chew up one of my wooden spoons. I hate mice. I had to take everything out of the drawer to be washed. (thankfully we caught the mouse last night.)

My day went like that pretty much all day. The kids had one fight after another. I seriously thought, I can't do this anymore. Late in the afternoon I had had enough, I screamed at the kids and sent them to their rooms. It hurts my pride and my heart to admit all this, But I lost control and just screamed. After I screamed at the kids, I just sat there by myself sobbing and praying. I want so much to do the right thing, but the fact is I blew it.

After I calmed down I went upstairs to talk to the kids and ask for forgiveness for how I had acted. It makes me cry just thinking about it. They were so loving and accepting and forgiving. Anna and Ryan both gave me a great big hug. We moved on and put it all behind us.

However because of the stress of the day I was feeling like I really needed some ice cream. So, my sweet husband offered to go and get it. It didn't make me feel better, but it did taste good.

So, tonight I am enjoying another bowl. :) Today was much better. We still had a few moments, but it was nothing like yesterday.

Tomorrow my good friend and mentor Lucy is coming over. I so need to see her. I just need to be in the presence of an older wiser woman who has walked a similar path before.

A lot is going on in my heart right now that I want to share, but I have not had the time or energy to share. Hopefully soon...