And so it begins...

Reality is setting in. Friday was Bill's last day at work. By the end of the day I had sort of an, "oh no what do we do?" moment. It just hit me that this is it...this is where things could get difficult. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I don't have moments of fear....I do. I have moments of panic. My emotions are sometimes up and sometimes down. Thankfully God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He will never change...so I will not rely on my feelings, which often seem to be carried by the wind.

Right now I am experiencing a peace like no other time before. I am a worrier by nature (my sin nature that is)...so it is only by the Grace of God that I am not consumed by my own thoughts. When I start to feel overwhelmed by thoughts of how things are going to change, I have to take a step back, glance upward and decide to dwell in in the Truth. I praise God for everything He has blessed us with...and I know by His Word, and His track record to our family that He will provide.

Tomorrow begins a new chapter in our family. We were all looking forward to the day Bill graduated from Collage and we could move on...he would get a job and things would be ok. You would think that by now I would have learned to NEVER put my hope in earthy things...like an education. :) It would have been far too easy, and maybe we would have overlooked God's hand in it all if things had gone according to "our" plan. No matter what happens to our family, God WILL get all the glory. I am so thankful He is the one in control...I can rest in that.

I want to share 2 quotes that I read on another blog tonight. Heather is a child of God who has been through so much heartache in her lifetime. Right now she is in the process of fighting cancer. Every time I go to her website I walk away amazed. Amazed at the awesome power of God and amazed at how Heather has clung to the Lord through it all. She is wonderful testimony and I come away refreshed every time. I do not know her personally, and what I am experiencing is so much less...so much less that I cannot even compare it...actually I don't want to belittle the work of God in my life...I am not going to make excuses for it anymore...it is what it is...this is a trial for our family...I think I need to stop feeling bad calling it that...it is the refining work of God in our lives. Anyway, I want to share something Heather quoted that really touched me.

"God is neither whimsical nor random in His involvement in the lives of His people. He provides, at just the right time, the right circumstances and people to make certain His plans are accomplished."

Wow! That was so what I needed to read right now. I think key word for me, "His plan". His plan will be accomplished....it will be perfect.

She also went on to quote,

"But we are not powerless. From the beginning of the world, God designated naming rights to human beings. You too have naming power: the ability to speak into a situation to call forth life from that place. You have the power to refuse to be an Eeyore, who famously said “Tut tut, it looks like rain.” You have the power to refuse any doomsday-prophet syndromes. You can refuse the darkness and look for the pinprick of light, look for the good in a bad situation, choose to see God’s hand in rock hard times instead of turning your back on Him."

I have been praying that God would help me to be positive...to be a good testimony...I needed to read this. I have the choice to dwell on the truth. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength...the strength to be positive only comes from relaying on Him. When I saturate my life in the Word and surrender to the truths contained inside, I will not dwell on the negative. I want to always walk in Truth. I want my cup to be full of Him and running over unto everything in my life

Oh God You are so faithful! Thank you for giving me what I needed at the moment I needed it. I do not doubt Your love. I pray that my faith would grow stronger. Thank You for opening my eyes to see just how much I need You. I need thee every hour, my precious Savior. My soul clings to You. You are my Rock and my Sustainer. I pray that I would be content in You only. Oh Lord, I also pray that You would help me not to be so focused on myself and my circumstances, that I would miss out on opportunities to show Your love to others. I pray that my eyes would be fixed on you...surrendered to Your will...so that I can be used for Your glory.