Higher

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I have known since I was young that God's ways are so different then my own...

When I was ten years old, the Lord decided to take my Best friend's dad home to be with Him. I loved her dad. He was such a sweet and funny man. Every time I would go over to her house her dad always had something to say that made you smile. He loved the Lord and loved his family very much. He was a friend to many. Everyone in our church loved him. Our parents were good friends and had several Bible studies together. We were close with their family.

I don't remember all the details because I was a child..and I'm sure I don't know all of them anyway. They found out too late that he had Hodgkin's disease. He was misdiagnosed with something else. By the time they realized what he had, it was too late. In our minds this should never have happened. It seemed so unfair.

Throughout the whole process, he clung to the Lord. I never heard from anyone of his complaining. He fought his illness until he took his last breath...he fought for his family...but he seemed surrendered to the Lord's plan.

He was not my father, and I can't imaging the grief his family went through, but I had my own grief. I had been so convinced in my young mind that God would reach down and heal him. It just seemed inconceivable that he would die. Yes, he did receive his healing, but not in the way I had been hoping and praying for.

That is just one of many life experiences that God has used in my life to show me that His ways are higher then mine. It was so painful to go through, and at such a young age. But, God has been so faithful to teach me, using every painful experience for His glory...

Yesterday, we got the news...Bill did not get the job we had been praying for. I am sad like I said I would be...but I do not feel hopeless. It is very painful for me to see Bill come so close, so close I could almost taste it, and then get turned down. Bill had moved on before the letter had even arrived. He knew in his gut that it was not to be.

I could sit here and say, "God this is so not fair. It seems like it was dangled in front of our faces only to be pulled away." Maybe it feels that way...but that is not the truth. I am choosing to dwell on the truth. "Just as you'll never understand the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman, So you'll never understand the mystery at work in all that God does." (Ecc 11:5 from The Message) I cannot possibly understand God's mind...it is beyond me. I trust in Him though....He knows what He is doing.

It would be a very scary feeling to not be in control, especially when it comes to money, if we did not have faith that the Lord is in control and has a plan. Ecc 7:13 says, "Consider the work of God, For who is able to straighten what He has bent?" It seems like an impossible circumstance. Bill has gotten turned down over and over. It doesn't make sense. God, and only God is able to "fix" this situation. And, I know that "fix" will probably not be what I think. "Man's steps are ordained by the LORD, How then can man understand his way?" (Prov. 20:24) I don't understand, but I trust my savior.

I have this song on my mp3 player right now. I love the words.

Praise you in this storm (Casting Crowns)
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I feel kind of guilty calling what we are going though right now a "storm". Maybe it doesn't sound "storm" worthy. It seems so small compared to other things. I have friends that have seen more struggle, or more hardship than I have in my lifetime. But, this is what we are going though...it is painful for us. We are very thankful for everything God has blessed us with. Please do not misunderstand and think I am complaining.

This is my hearts cry...to praise Him no matter what, because God is good! I want to be content no matter what, because God is good. To wait upon the Lord for His plan, Because God is good. I give Him all my praise because He is worthy!

Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14

I am waiting, and finding hope and courage in the process...God is good!