Did you ever have a moment where Jesus met you where you were at? A moment when He spoke to you, not audibly, but it was so loud and clear that it rang in your ears like a beautiful chorus? A moment where He whispered into the depths of your soul? A moment that you could almost feel His very breath upon you? A moment like this with my sweet Savior and lesson I needed to be reminded of, was recently etched on my heart...
This summer has been very full. Before it even began, I spent much time in prayer that God would give me fun and creative things to do with the kids. I really wanted to make this summer a time where we could build happy, lasting childhood memories. I really feel like the Lord has answered that, and fulfilled my longings as a mom. I have for the most part been able to fill our days with something entertaining and/or interesting to do.
As much as I have enjoyed the busyness and all the fun activities that we have done, I have to say I have become pretty worn out. By the end of last week, I had totally lost sight of pretty much everything. All the fun in the sun, lack of sleep (not to mention that I had the flu for a couple days, and that really set me behind), and my disheveled house had caught up with me. Saturday evening everything came to a head. I lost my temper with Bill and the kids. I started to feel like I had spent so much time and energy on my family, with no appreciation for my efforts (as if that was the very reason why I do what I do). I have been so busy taking care of everyone, trying to plan fun things, cook yummy healthy meals (in very hot weather), clean, and trying to make sure that I am there for Bill also...I suddenly felt like NO ONE was taking care of my needs. "What about me?" I wanted to shout. I felt like throwing in the towel and laying claim to my weariness.
Bill had plans that evening with a friend and was going to be gone for several hours. I was not feeling too great about the idea of having to feed the kids dinner, bath them and get them all to bed by myself...when all I wanted to do was be ALONE! So, I took a deep breath and accomplished the evening, having everyone in bed by 8:00. Looking around at my messy house and knowing that I couldn't rest until it was clean, I started to scrub the kitchen floor.
As I knelt there washing the dirt off my floor I poured out my heart to the Lord. I told him how weary I was. "Lord I feel like everyone keeps asking for more...more of me. I am empty. I have NOTHING left to give. I cannot do this."
I have to tell you...you may think I'm crazy but, Jesus met me there. Right there in that moment on my kitchen floor....on a floor that would not be worthy for a King.
"Come to me." came His gentle response. "lay your burdens at my feet. I will fill you. I will be your more. I will give you what you need to serve your family. Only turn to Me. Stop looking to your family to fill your desires and make you whole. Stop trying to do it on your own. Rest in me."
I felt a weight begin to lift. I felt His love for me. "Oh Lord, how could I so quickly forgot that YOU are what I need. Thank you for speaking to my soul and making me full...for taking my burden and reminding me it's not about me, it's all about you. Thank You for filling in the empty spaces. I want more of you and less of me. Help me to serve my family in Your strength."
Looking down into a bucket filled with dirt and grim from days of use, and no proper care, I saw myself. I saw my soul and the selfishness that had crept in. I saw my need for cleansing...to bathe in the presence of the Son. When I am empty I need to run into the arms of my Savior. I need to sit at His feet and rest in His Word.
Isn't that so like the Lord? To reach down to me in my weakness, to whisper in my ear. To fill my heart with joy and renewed strength to serve. I know that Jesus is always there, but this was a moment where I knew. I never ceased to be amazed at the depths of His love.
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 1 Cor. 12:9
Help me Lord to embrace my weakness and rest in Your grace. To be a vessel used by You to show Your love to others. Thank you for filling my cup...for the reminder that You will meet me there, wherever there is.... Thank You that Your grace is enough.
Until we meet again...
This summer has been very full. Before it even began, I spent much time in prayer that God would give me fun and creative things to do with the kids. I really wanted to make this summer a time where we could build happy, lasting childhood memories. I really feel like the Lord has answered that, and fulfilled my longings as a mom. I have for the most part been able to fill our days with something entertaining and/or interesting to do.
As much as I have enjoyed the busyness and all the fun activities that we have done, I have to say I have become pretty worn out. By the end of last week, I had totally lost sight of pretty much everything. All the fun in the sun, lack of sleep (not to mention that I had the flu for a couple days, and that really set me behind), and my disheveled house had caught up with me. Saturday evening everything came to a head. I lost my temper with Bill and the kids. I started to feel like I had spent so much time and energy on my family, with no appreciation for my efforts (as if that was the very reason why I do what I do). I have been so busy taking care of everyone, trying to plan fun things, cook yummy healthy meals (in very hot weather), clean, and trying to make sure that I am there for Bill also...I suddenly felt like NO ONE was taking care of my needs. "What about me?" I wanted to shout. I felt like throwing in the towel and laying claim to my weariness.
Bill had plans that evening with a friend and was going to be gone for several hours. I was not feeling too great about the idea of having to feed the kids dinner, bath them and get them all to bed by myself...when all I wanted to do was be ALONE! So, I took a deep breath and accomplished the evening, having everyone in bed by 8:00. Looking around at my messy house and knowing that I couldn't rest until it was clean, I started to scrub the kitchen floor.
As I knelt there washing the dirt off my floor I poured out my heart to the Lord. I told him how weary I was. "Lord I feel like everyone keeps asking for more...more of me. I am empty. I have NOTHING left to give. I cannot do this."
I have to tell you...you may think I'm crazy but, Jesus met me there. Right there in that moment on my kitchen floor....on a floor that would not be worthy for a King.
"Come to me." came His gentle response. "lay your burdens at my feet. I will fill you. I will be your more. I will give you what you need to serve your family. Only turn to Me. Stop looking to your family to fill your desires and make you whole. Stop trying to do it on your own. Rest in me."
I felt a weight begin to lift. I felt His love for me. "Oh Lord, how could I so quickly forgot that YOU are what I need. Thank you for speaking to my soul and making me full...for taking my burden and reminding me it's not about me, it's all about you. Thank You for filling in the empty spaces. I want more of you and less of me. Help me to serve my family in Your strength."
Looking down into a bucket filled with dirt and grim from days of use, and no proper care, I saw myself. I saw my soul and the selfishness that had crept in. I saw my need for cleansing...to bathe in the presence of the Son. When I am empty I need to run into the arms of my Savior. I need to sit at His feet and rest in His Word.
Isn't that so like the Lord? To reach down to me in my weakness, to whisper in my ear. To fill my heart with joy and renewed strength to serve. I know that Jesus is always there, but this was a moment where I knew. I never ceased to be amazed at the depths of His love.
And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 1 Cor. 12:9
Help me Lord to embrace my weakness and rest in Your grace. To be a vessel used by You to show Your love to others. Thank you for filling my cup...for the reminder that You will meet me there, wherever there is.... Thank You that Your grace is enough.
Until we meet again...
6 comments:
thank you for writing this... I don't have any words to say other than you are always able to articulate so well in your writing. I've had experiences like yours too and it's so nice to read what you've written and look back at the times of weariness when Christ sat by my side.
I think Angie has inspired your writing/way with words! hee hee :)
Just remember, God will never give you too many burdens. I'm learning this, once again...
It's just what you put on your plate, that you have to be careful with. How much and of what "food" group... If that makes sense. :)
You're doing a fantastic job at being a mom and wife. So well done! And well done in being open to the Lord and His words. You'll be blessed!
I am so there Elizabeth! It has been a ridiculously busy summer and I've felt like I've done my share of giving to others and was wondering where my needs fitted into the mix! Just tonight before I read your blog, I had a moment like yours. I realized I was trying to do it in my strength and it just wasn't making me or anyone else happy! God is sufficient and for that I'm grateful. Thanks for sharing your journey so I could be encouraged on mine!
This was sooo encouraging, as most of your post's are :)
You are such a WONDERFUL Mother to your family, the Lord has blessed you soo much :)
I'm blessed to be a part of your life, you are appreciated and loved by so many! Thanks for your encouraging words!!
By the way, I wanna see your new necklace...that was too sweet ;)
Thanks for the encouragement Elizabeth! Anya
Thanks for sharing! I was blessed!
All for Jesus,
Julie
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