Ice cream will do

I am eating a bowl of ice cream that Bill ran out at 9:30 last night to get for me. It was a must need...and not must need because I am pregnant...it was a must need because it was a horrible day.

I debated on whether or not to write this. I don't like to be negative. But, let's face it, it's real life. Yesterday I had one of the worst days I have had in a long time. EVERYTHING went wrong. We started school 1 1/2 hours later then we normally do because one of my children's behavior could not be ignored and had to be dealt with. I don't know what is going on but Ryan had decided that he wasn't going to listen to anything I said. While I was dealing with him, James got into one thing after another. It's almost comical. I set my coffee down to deal with Ryan, James grabbed it and spilled it everywhere...all over one of our new text books (call me a freak, but I love new books. I hate to see them ruined.) I set the coffee up high and grabbed the hairdryer to dry the pages before they stuck to each other. While I was doing that, James climbed up to the top (in the middle) of the table and grabbed my coffee. I ran out to clean up that mess, forgetting to close the bathroom door behind me. Before I could catch him, James was playing in the toilet bowl...GROSS!!!

Oh, and then at lunch I opened the silverware drawer only to discover that a mouse had decided to chew up one of my wooden spoons. I hate mice. I had to take everything out of the drawer to be washed. (thankfully we caught the mouse last night.)

My day went like that pretty much all day. The kids had one fight after another. I seriously thought, I can't do this anymore. Late in the afternoon I had had enough, I screamed at the kids and sent them to their rooms. It hurts my pride and my heart to admit all this, But I lost control and just screamed. After I screamed at the kids, I just sat there by myself sobbing and praying. I want so much to do the right thing, but the fact is I blew it.

After I calmed down I went upstairs to talk to the kids and ask for forgiveness for how I had acted. It makes me cry just thinking about it. They were so loving and accepting and forgiving. Anna and Ryan both gave me a great big hug. We moved on and put it all behind us.

However because of the stress of the day I was feeling like I really needed some ice cream. So, my sweet husband offered to go and get it. It didn't make me feel better, but it did taste good.

So, tonight I am enjoying another bowl. :) Today was much better. We still had a few moments, but it was nothing like yesterday.

Tomorrow my good friend and mentor Lucy is coming over. I so need to see her. I just need to be in the presence of an older wiser woman who has walked a similar path before.

A lot is going on in my heart right now that I want to share, but I have not had the time or energy to share. Hopefully soon...