We don't see Bill's extended family all that much (at the most once a year), so I don't really know any of them very well. Although, I am not uncomfortable talking to any of them. Anyway, as I was standing in line to get food, one of Bill's aunt's turns to me, Our conversation went something like this,
"Oh, hi Elizabeth. I haven't seen you in awhile. How are you?"
"Good."
"I didn't realize you were pregnant again."
"Yep." I nodded my head.
And then without any reserve, and a little laugh, she says, "You need to tell Bill to leave you alone!"
I think I must have looked a little stunned...I didn't know how to respond to that. My sweet mother in law Kay, was standing nearby and replied,
"Oh___(Aunt's name), we are really excited about the baby."
Aunt___ huffs, "Well, come on really?" Implying that we already have too many kids, and one more is just absurd.
I think anyone who was in ear shot of the conversation was a little surprised....or at least Kay and I were. Thankfully another Aunt turned to me and started asking questions about the baby, and if we knew what the gender was and my due date.
I told Bill about the conversation later that day. I wasn't hurt by it, just a little bothered...it bothered me a little that someone would imply that our baby was a burden and that we had no business having more kids; Or that Bill and I had no self control and thus got ourselves into a mess. Granted, this baby was a surprise (I did not mention that to the unnamed Aunt), but certainly not unwanted. We are very much excited and cannot wait to meet our sweet girl. Bill reminded me that the person who made the comment to me does not understand the truth of God's Word. Sadly she is blinded, and only holds the opinion of the world. I do not say this to be harsh...the whole thing just made me sad...sad for her that she cannot understand our joy. She cannot see the joy that comes wrapped in a tiny bundle. Bill and I actually feel very humbled that the Lord would choose to bless us with such a gift. I wish I could have expressed that to his Aunt, but maybe it was for the best that I found myself at a loss for words.
Other peoples opinions of me used to bother me a lot. In the past I would have been upset that someone would think badly of me. Of course it's only normal to want people to approve of you. But, I find myself only saddened at the conversation because of her lack of understanding the goodness of God. I'm not sure if there is any point to this post, other then the fact that I think my eyes have been opened to not take things so personally...especially from those who walk in darkness. I pray that my heart will continue to feel burdened for those, and that the way I live my life would be a testimony...even if no one else understands why we do what we do.
7 comments:
I so enjoy reading your 'heart' talks. We've been there too- except ours are totally opposite. People in R's family want lots of kids and we find ourselves explaining why we are choosing not to.- Makes for an awckward conversation but even though there are many believers, we still find many who 'walk in darkness' in the sense that we are choosing to use wisdom in what my body can and cannot handle based of fact- and not us just going out there and saying 'what the hay- lets just forget what the dr's warn' :)
anyway, as backwards as ours situation is from yours, I REALLY do understand....lol. We rest too in our amazing little blessings. Those who tend to be cinical don't spend much time around people who try for years and years to have a wee one. I hear and feel your compassion in her ingnorance. The world is a sad and lonely place for sure! Anyway- I do check your blog many times a week- so keep those posts coming. I rarely find the time to write on anyone else's anymore but just know 'We're watching you (imagining creepy background music)...lol
I am so sorry you had to endure that. You have such a great perspective on it!!
That is so sad that she said and thinks that! I so agree with you... what a blessing these babies are! I probably would have reacted just like you but inside wanted to rip her lips off...LOL!
Hi friend...
I ECHO your heart...we get LOTS of looks and hurtful comments from people who just don't understand, some are believers and so that makes us even more stunned...the thing that makes me keep on going when people want to share their opinion is that BEFORE the LORD, I know in my heart, hand in hand with my husband, that I am BLESSED and obedient to what GOD has called of us...to make diciples of the children HE has entrusted to us....and with homeschooling too, whoo, the opinions!!! :)
KNOW before the LORD you are being obedient, and AMEN, these little ones are such a JOY....
Praise the LORD...
God bless, and thanks for "stopping by"
Liz :)
Id be shocked and hurt too to hear somebody say that to me. You did good. And you have a great mind and perspective on it. It really is sad for her to not see the joy in having kids exspecially wiht the way you raise them; to know and live for God. Thats more of a reason to have more! You have such a special and sweet family. I am so excited to meet your little girl and maybe even more in the future! :)
What an aweful thing to say. We often have complete strangers telling us to "give it up already. You are never going to have a boy!" when they see us with our three girls. That always hurts on two levels. One, b/c they assume that our three is too many, and two when they think the only reason we would possibly keep having children is to have a boy!
God wasn't suprised by this baby. She is beautifully made. I can't wait to see pictures of her soon.
Thank you for sharing.
I am jealous you are having another one. Some days I want one more but most days, three is more than enough. We can still have babies so you never know. :)
Thank you for sharing because I think it is awesome and God's blessing is obvious in your life.
Love to you my friend!
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