Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Bubbles and paint
Friday, September 26, 2008
moving on
So why you might ask, am I looking for a new library? Well, I am pretty sure we have ticked off the children's librarian one too many times. The last time we were there must have been the straw that broke the camels back. I understand that my 2 year old is loud and likes to run, so I really try my hardest to keep my eye on him or follow him around. If he gets to be too much I usually strap him back into his stroller seat (to which he LOUDLY protests). One time a few months back I tuned my back for a minute to get a book off the shelf for Anna, and before I knew it James had decided to give one of the stuffed animals a bath in the drinking fountain. UGH! The Liberian rushed over and said something (in her sweet librarian voice) about not putting the animals in water. I apologized. We put the incident behind us and moved on. Well, it happened again last week. Before I could grab James he had put the SAME stuffed dog under the water fountain. I rung it out and left it to dry. The Liberian was not around for me to say anything to and I needed to leave, so I just left (Yeah I feel guilty about that, maybe I should have searched for her and things would have ended better?).
Oh and not to mention that I had to pay a fine recently for a book that we returned that was TOTALLY ruined. I have no idea how it happened, we always take good care of the things we check out. But whatever the case I had to pay a whopping $20 fine!!! I am sure this was another thing to add to my already long list of reasons for the Liberian not to like me. And I am sure at this point she assumes that any mess that is made in the children's section is due to my kids...which it usually isn't because I make sure they pick up after themselves...anyway...
This all brings us to this afternoon. I let James out of the stroller at the library and kept a VERY careful eye on him (especially since we were the only ones there AND the Liberian was sitting right there. :)) He was good for a few minutes but then I decided that he needed to go back in the stroller because he was too wild and I needed to pick out some books. He started screaming, but I thought "Oh well, I'm sure she would rather have him scream then get into something." I hurried up and picked out what I wanted and then turned went to check out. As soon as I got over to the desk, I heard the fountain running. I turned around and saw that James could reach the button from where he was sitting, so I started over to move him away. Just as I did this, the Liberian pops her head up and says, "Is that the fountain I hear, because the last 2 times Clifford ended up taking a bath in the fountain and he had to go home to be washed." I just said "Oh, well James doesn't have Clifford this time and he is strapped in his stroller."
Sigh! I knew right then and there, by the tone of her voice that I had lost any chance of the mother of the year award, HA! I could tell by the way that she tried to talk sweetly and cover her true feelings of disgust towards me. I am going to have to go somewhere else from now on...I have been trying to swallow my pride and still take my 2 year old out in public, but I may have to resign that I either can't go out or I must find another place to get our books.
First it was the Dr's office (yeah and I didn't even write about my last Dr.'s experience where the Dr. scolded my child and said something in jest like, "I don't know why you would let James go when you knew he would just run away"...don't worry I am over that now.) At one point I thought I was going to have to find a new play group because of how aggressive James is with all the little girls, but since there aren't any more playgroups I don't need to worry about that. But now it's officially time to move to a new library.
Please don't get me wrong I LOVE LOVE having boys. I love James he is funny and sweet and my life would not be complete without him, but sometimes it is a little discouraging. Sometimes I just don't know what to do. Are there any other moms of boys out there that have trouble with the wildness?? Please tell me I am not alone! No offence to you moms of just girls (because I have daughters also) but until you have a boy I just don't think you can understand. Hopefully I am not stepping on any toes by saying that, because I am sure I've stepped on more then enough already today.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Don't try this at home
Apparently Go-Gurt is not for adults (or at least not this one). This is what it looked like when I tried to eat one of the kids treats...I'm not really sure how it happened but it ended up all over my face. (The pic was after I had scraped some of it off.) :) The kids were very amused and thought it would be funny to take my picture. So being the self respecting mom that I am... I obliged. :)
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Attitude check
This week our family has been battling a nasty cold. First I came down with it, then Claire, then this morning Anna woke up with a sore throat. I have to admit that I was tempted to give into thoughts of, "Ugh, I am going to have to adjust my plans for the day." (Right I know, real loving). We were obviously not able to have a normal school day. Instead of feeling stressed about it, I decided that we would spend the morning doing some quiet activities. We snuggled and read lots of books together. After lunch I played games with the kids, more snuggling, and then I sent the kids upstairs to have some quiet play time while I did a few chores around the house. After chores were done and supper started we headed outside to enjoy the air that had turned crisp and fall like.
You would think with being sick the day would have been rough (because that's often how it is), but it wasn't. We actually had a very enjoyable day. I tried to put my finger on why it went so well. What made today so different? I realized that it was my attitude. I have a very type A personality. I like order and structure and schedules. I like lists and the feeling of accomplishing my tasks. In the past (and sometimes still) when things change I have a hard time going with the flow. Today I let go of my to-do lists and allowed God to lead me and show me what would be best. Today was a gift (never mind that it was covered in snot :)).
Angela Thomas in her book, "Tender Mercy for a Mother's Soul" says, "Being a mommy is both a gift and a burden. The responsibilities are never-ending and sometimes feel all-consuming. Yet the day will be won or lost, not based on my accomplishment, but based on my attitude. The grace of God can set my attitude free to be to be the mommy. By His grace, my frustrations can be replaced with peace. By His grace I can speak calmly and listen patiently. By His grace, I can forsake my to-do list and play with my children. By His grace, I can celebrate the season called Mommy."
The day is not won by what I accomplish...did you catch that...but by my attitude!! I love that! That is so true!! The day will NOT go well if I am grumpy. It will not go well if I see my children as a checklist. They are gifts given to me to shape and mold, and I have a responsibility to model Christ like behavior to them. But, I cannot do it without Him. God's grace to me is so amazing. By His grace I can take a deep breath and say, it's okay to be sick and just snuggle this morning. By His grace I can surrender my heart to Him and ask Him to replace it with His.
It's days like this that give me the strength to go on, and the ability to celebrate the joy of being a mother.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
7 months old
7 months old on the 21st.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Happy fall!!
Speaking of apples, I found this picture over the weekend. It reminded of all the good things to come in the fall. It's from 3 yeas ago when Anna was in 4K, and we were on a field trip to an apple orchard.
Happy fall everyone!!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
We all survived
Friday morning we went in to the surgery center for Ryan's procedure. I had had visions of getting there and then falling apart while they wheeled him away to the operating room; or that Ryan would be terrified when he had to leave us. Praise God it all went well. Bill and I waited in a little room with Ryan while they got everything ready. They gave Ryan a drug to calm him...although I have to say I didn't really notice any of the effects they said might take place (getting lethargic, drowsy, silly...), he is a pretty calm kid to begin with. About 20 minutes of waiting and they were ready to take him back to operate. We kissed Ryan goodbye and told him we would be waiting and everything was going to be fine. As they wheeled him away in his bed, about halfway down the hallway, Ryan popped his head up and called, "I love you." Tears filled my eyes, as I called back to him (all the nurses around were like, "Awww."). Melt my heart!
The whole thing took about an hour. The surgeon came out and told us that everything went very well. They were able to do what they needed to, with the fewest amount of cuts. 20 minutes after speaking to the surgeon we were reunited with our boy in the recovery room. That was the hardest part. When we walked in a nurse was sitting holding him in a rocking chair. She said that when he woke up he was crying for me (ok I had to hold back tears at this point). It was such a sweet moment when I held him in my arms. I felt so sad for him because he was in quite a bit of pain. We were able to leave after about an hour in recovery.
Friday was the hardest day. But, we made it through. Ryan is doing GREAT now (I think all the gifts he received from friends and family helped take his mind off of things...thank you!!!). I cannot believe how well he is doing. It is Sunday and he is already walking around and not needing any pain meds. I suspect the hardest part from here is that he has to be inactive for 3 weeks...meaning no running, wrestling, playing rough...pretty much stuff all boys do. We might just allow more video games the next few weeks! :)
My dad was here the whole weekend which was such a blessing. He was a big help and I am so thankful he was able to come out. Love you dad!!! :)
Thank you all so much for all your prayers, and phone calls and e-mails. They were so appreciated. I felt so at peace during the whole thing. I know all the prayers helped. Thanks for loving our boy with us.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
A not so good day
As I sat in the kitchen with my (throbbing) head buried in my hands, crying and feeling as if I could not do this, James placed his chubby little hands on my arm and asked, "What's wrong mommy?" His big brown eyes looking at me with concern. Before I could respond he ran off to play in the other room. I sat there wondering too, "What IS wrong with me?" Then it hit me...
Ryan is having surgery tomorrow morning. It is actually not THAT big of a deal. It is out patient. The surgery itself takes about an hour. We know several others who have had this same surgery and have all been fine. But the thought of my baby boy having to be put under makes me feel a little scared and just upset. I realized that most of my emotion from the not so unusual chaos, stemmed from the feelings I have about Ryan's procedure. The stress of his impending surgery had caught up with me. I was letting fear and anxiety creep in and affect how I responded to every situation from that morning
Later in the afternoon I was able to squeeze in 5 minutes of quiet (which wasn't really quiet, HA :) ) time. I read this,
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber...
Psalm 121:1-3
That was just wanted my spirit needed. The reminder that my help comes from the Lord. I need to keep my eyes on Him. He is my maker. He loves me. He will not let me slip. He watches over me and never for a second am I out of His eyesight. It is amazing how dwelling on that passage of scripture helped me to overcome my anxiety. It is hard to explain but it had felt like there has something pressing on me making it hard to breath. As I talked to the Lord He removed that feeling, showing me that He is in control. All my struggles from the day just unfolded. He helps me to be the mom that He wants me to be. He helps me to control my temper and to love. He helps me to lay my anxiety at His feet...He is my help!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Down by the docks
I so enjoyed watching my kids have fun and get excited about God's creation. Thankfully I had my camera along to capture it!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Still deciding
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
His Word
Serve the LORD with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
Know that the LORD Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
For the LORD is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.
Psalm 100
These are some of my thoughts after reading:
~See serving the Lord (by serving my family) as a pleasure, a joy, a delight
~make a joyful noise (I'm pretty sure yelling at my kids is not a joyful noise :) )
~Set aside pride
~He is in control not me
~I am His
~Let my Words speak of His goodness
~Give thanks for His lovingkindness and His faithfulness that is for everyone for all times
Monday, September 8, 2008
A future date
Conversation from this morning:
Ryan- "Mommy? When I grow up can I take you out on a date? And we can go out to eat or something? And Daddy can go to Grandma's house like a little kid."
Me- "I think that sounds like a great plan Ryan. We can do that someday."
A few minutes later he excitedly tells Anna and Bill his plan to take me out on a date. :)
Oh my little man! You always find a way to melt my heart and make me feel special. Throughout each day you tell me how much you love me and that I am the best mommy ever, and how beautiful I am. I praise God for you. You are gift that I do not deserve but am so thankful for. I pray that you always stay soft. I pray that you will grow to be a man after God's own heart. I know you are going to make some woman a wonderful husband someday. For now I'll just cherish each moment I have being the love of your life until that day comes. :)
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Run
Let your eyes look directly ahead
And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.
Watch the path of your feet
And all your ways will be established.
Do not turn to the right nor to the left;
Turn your foot from evil.
Proverbs 4:25-27
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, author and perfecter of faith...
Hebrews 12:1-2
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Better
I spent time today being encouraged by our pastor's wife who has homeschooled all 6 of their kids. What a blessing it was to talk to her and get some ideas and ways that I can make this transition easier. Now if only I could find a way to get up early to have quiet time. I do get up but the kids ALWAYS hear me and think it is time to come down. Anna and Ryan are okay with playing quietly in their rooms until it is time to come down but James doesn't understand. This is something I am working on. :)
Bill has been such an encouragement to me, telling me that I can do this and how much fun this year will be. I so appreciate his words...I need it!! When I am nervous and doubt myself he is right there to be the encouragement that I need. And, he tells the kids all the time that they they are really blessed to get to stay at home and be schooled by the best teacher (melt my heart by his sweetness). He helps out around the house and does whatever he can to help! :) I love that he wants to help and be involved when and where he can. His support of me is so amazing. I am blessed.
Well I am off to finish a load of laundry and clean up the kitchen so I can get to bed!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
First day of school
Our day may have started out shaky but it did end good. I think the kids favorite part of today was art, we made homemade play-doh. I am praying for creative fun ways to teach the kiddos. I know they enjoy that.
Thankfully tomorrow is another day and we can start afresh with happy hearts and renewed strength. I am excited to see what the morning brings!
If you want the recipe I used for Play-Doh you can find it on our homeschool blog.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Leaving a legacy
I had been praying for Bill's spiritual life (not that there was anything wrong, this is just something I always pray about) and praying specifically that God would bring another man into his life to encourage him in the Lord. I can't remember exactly how it happened, but I do remember Larry seeking Bill out at church, striking up conversations. Bill started attending the Bible study once a week that Larry was in. If Bill ever missed a week, Larry would call to find out how he was doing, ask what he could be praying for etc. This was such an encouragement to my heart to see that I had prayed for this very thing and God had answered. While they did not get the chance to develop a deep friendship it was a blessing to know that he cared about my husband and wanted to encourage him. When Larry had health issues over the past year or so Bill and I spent time praying as a family for him.
Just two weeks ago, Bill talked to Larry at church. Larry must have sensed that his time was near as he brought up the subject of death. He knew where he was going after he died but did not want to leave yet. Bill struggled to find words to say. Thursday morning we got a call that Larry had gone on to be with the Lord Wednesday night.
As we sat in on the funeral, which was such a celebration of his life, I really wished that I had known him better. He left behind a wife and three grown sons and several grandchildren. His boys gave the most beautiful eulogy I have ever heard, each one giving testimony of their father's character. They spoke of His love for the Lord and his desire to spread the gospel to others. His compassion and the encouraging man of God he was was evident with everything they said. They each thanked their father for living a life that showed them what it meant to live by faith and to love generously. After the sons spoke, many others got up and gave similar testimonies of how Larry had touched them and encouraged them to grow in the Lord. What a beautiful legacy... I was truly touched. I did not leave with dry eyes, but left with a changed heart.
I had an entirely different post ready to go tonight talking about my nervousness with starting school tomorrow morning. After we came home I deleted it. Not that I'm not still nervous, but sitting there listening to how Larry effected his children's lives the Lord spoke to me. He showed me that I am doing exactly what I have been called to do. There is nothing to be nervous about. In that moment the Lord filled my heart with such joy. The Lord can use my weakness, He will fill in, He will give strength, He will lead me. I am so excited to begin in the morning.
I only pray that someday when our children stand to give testimonies of our lives, we will have left behind such a legacy...
All for His glory!